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schelluminium · 1 day ago
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I know I'm risking getting a lot of hate by saying this but I truly believe anyone under 16 shouldn't be allowed at Omar's concerts.
It really baffles me that his fanbase is filled to the brim with teenagers. He is an openly sexual artist, constantly posts thirst traps, undresses onstage, performs all kinds of very sexual dance moves, humps the stage, gets groped by his dancers for certain choreographies, sings a lot about hooking up with strangers and sometimes has downright explicit lyrics about having sex.
The amount of comments (jokingly or not) on some of his posts going "Omar, please don't do that for x show, I'm coming with my parents" annoys me so much. He is an adult and gets to decide what kind of music and show he wants to make. He doesn't owe anyone rolemodel behavior.
If your parents aren't okay with their fourteen year old seeing a man strip onstage, that's very understandable and maybe you really shouldn't be there. Also taking your parents with you means there is less tickets available for his other fans. And we have all seen the ticket war for the February tour.
So yes, I fully stand by saying that there should be an age restriction for his concerts, if not 18 then at least 16.
I love Hoemar and I know most of his fans do too. I don't want him to ever censor himself for the sake of some underage fans. They can listen to his music at home if their parents allow it but they shouldn't come to the concerts.
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16woodsequ · 1 year ago
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100 Asexual Books Rec List
For this list the goal is fiction books with a main character or significant secondary character that is on the Asexual spectrum, or non-fiction books about being Aspec.
Junior Novels
1. Rick by Alex Gino An eleven year old boy starting middle school begins discovering his asexuality admist the school's rainbow spectrum club. Also features transgender and crossdressing side characters, as well as a LGBTQIAP+ supporting cast.
2. Sal & Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Alberto Pablo Hernandez In order to heal after his mother's death, Sal learned how to meditate. But no one expected him to be able to take it further and 'relax' things into existence. Turns out he can reach into time and space to retrieve things from other universes. Asexual Sal.
3. Hazel's Theory of Evolution by Lisa Jenn Bigelow Hazel knows a lot about the world. But even Hazel doesn't have answers for the questions awaiting her as she enters eighth grade. What if no one at her new school gets her, and she doesn't make any friends? What's going to happen to one of her moms, who's pregnant again after having two miscarriages? Why does everything have to change when life was already perfectly fine? Hazel (main character) is asexual and aromantic (it isn't said in the book, but it is specified in the author's note at the back of the book).
4. The Trouble with Robots by Michelle Mohrweis Evelyn strives for excellence. Allie couldn't care less. Together, these polar opposites must work together if they have any hope of saving their school's robotics program. Allie is asexual and/or aromantic. Junior graphic novel.
5. This is Our Rainbow by Editors Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby Featuring contributions from Eric Bell, Katherine Locke and A.J. Sass, this first LGBTQA+ anthology for middle-grade readers presents stories of queer fantasy, historical and contemporary stories for every letter of the acronym.
6. Every Bird a Prince by Jenn Reese After she saves the life of a bird prince and becomes their champion, seventh grader Eren Evers must defend a forest kingdom, save her mom, and keep the friendships she holds dear--if she is brave enough to embrace her inner truths. Eren is aromantic (and I'm guessing asexual, though that isn't discussed).
YA Fiction
7. When Villains Rise by Rebecca Schaeffer With her best friend, Kovit's, life in danger, Nita is determined to take down the black market once and for all. Latina asexual and aromantic main character (Nita).
8. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee Henry "Monty" Montague was bred to be a gentleman. His passions for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men, have earned the disapproval of his father. His quest for pleasures and vices have led to one last hedonistic hurrah as Monty, his best friend and crush Percy, and Monty's sister Felicity begin a Grand Tour of Europe. When a reckless decision turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything Monty knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores. Aro/ace secondary character (prequel to a Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy).
9. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee A year after an accidentally whirlwind grand tour with her brother Monty, Felicity Montague has returned to England with two goals in mind—avoid the marriage proposal of a lovestruck suitor from Edinburgh and enroll in medical school. A highly loved book in regards to asexual portrayal, Felicity’s journey does a fantastic job of exploring the struggle of navigating a world where marriage is expected of women in order to function in society. Even more refreshing is Felicity isn’t just avoiding getting married out of a sole rebellion against the patriarchy (though those themes are also present), but simply because she doesn’t have an interest in sexual or romantic relationships at all.
10. Silver in the Mist by Emily Victoria Asexual Devlin has grown up in the shadow of her mother’s impressive spy network—and the shadow of the kingdom, too. A magical mist is eating away at their borders, weakening their magic and making them vulnerable to attacks. Devlin is tasked with infiltrating the royal court of the wealthier neighboring kingdom, but when she befriends their most powerful magic wielder, she discovers an ancient mystery that may hold the key to defeating the mists for good. Victoria prioritizes strong friendships between queer characters and an examination of wealth disparity in this fantasy full of twists and turns.
11. Not Good for Maidens by Tori Bovalino Beneath the streets of York, the goblin market calls to the Wickett women-the family of witches that tends to its victims. For generations, they have defended the old cobblestone streets with their magic. Knowing the dangers, they never entered the market-until May Wickett fell for a goblin girl, accepted her invitation, and became inextricably tied to the world her family tried to protect her from. Told through dual narratives in different timelines, the book essentially has two protagonists: Lou and May. Between these two characters, we have some great queer representation for both asexuality and bisexuality.
12. A Snake Falls to Earth by Darcie Little Badger Themes of magic, family, asexuality, and traditional storytelling dominate in Lipan Apache author Darcie Little Badger's delightful and uplifting second YA novel. A Lipan girl named Nina collides with Oli who is from the land of spirits and monsters. But some people will do anything to keep them apart. This is a wholesome, elegantly written read guaranteed to warm your heart! 
13. Arden Grey by Ray Stoeve Arden Grey is a novel about different kinds of abusive relationships, as well as the strength of family and friendships. Following her parents' separation, Arden is depressed and coming to accept herself as being on the asexual spectrum.
14. It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano Yasm Trevi didn't have much of a freshman year thanks to Hurricane Humphrey, but she's ready to take sophomore year by storm. That means mastering the marching side of marching band--fast!--so she can outshine her BFF Sofia as top of the flute section, earn first chair, and impress both her future college admission boards and her comfortably unattainable drum major crush Gilberto Reyes. But Yasm steps off on the wrong foot when she reports an anonymous gossip Instagram account harassing new band members and accidentally gets the entire low brass section suspended from extracurriculars. Rep: Biracial Latina fat asexual-questioning cis female MC, Jewish gray-aromantic gray-asexual male side character with ADHD and APD.
15. One for All by Lillie Lainoff In 1655 sixteen-year-old Tania is the daughter of a retired musketeer, but she is afflicted with extreme vertigo and subject to frequent falls; when her father is murdered she finds that he has arranged for her to attend Madame de Treville's newly formed Acadaemie des Mariées in Paris, which, it turns out, is less a school for would-be wives, than a fencing academy for girls--and so Tania begins her training to be a new kind of musketeer, and to get revenge for her father. Rep: disability, asexuality, sapphic side characters, POTS and PTSD.
16. The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson When Dean Arnault’s mother decided to run for president, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone, least of all her son. But still that doesn’t mean Dean wants to be part of the public spectacle that is the race for the White House—at least not until he meets Dre. The only problem is that Dre Rosario’s on the opposition; he’s the son of the Democratic nominee. In a moment of solidarity and high emotions, Dean tells Dre that he has been questioning his sexual orientation. He isn’t sure if he’s asexual or demisexual. Dre puts a messaging app on Dean’s phone so they can stay in touch.
17. Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim When Amaya rescues a mysterious stranger from drowning, she fears her rash actions have earned her a longer sentence on the debtor ship where she’s been held captive for years. Instead, the man she saved offers her unimaginable riches and a new identity, setting Amaya on a perilous course through the coastal city-state of Moray, where old-world opulence and desperate gamblers collide. Amaya wants one thing: revenge against the man who ruined her family and stole the life she once had. Desi, demisexual female protagonist. 
18. Camp by Lev AC Rosen It’s Randy’s fifth year at Camp Outland, a camp where queer teens get a chance to be themselves. Hoping to win over Hudson’s heart—who’s masc and straight passing and only seems to date other guys like himself—Randy has spent the past year reinventing himself: workout regimen, new haircut, new carefully curated wardrobe. His friends and camp counsellor all think it’s a terrible idea, but what can they do but support him anyways?
19. Little Thieves by Margaret Owen Once upon a time, the daughter of death and fortune was a teenage girl and she was the worst. Little Thieves is, as the dedication says, for the gremlin girls, never has there been a more gremlin girl than Vanja Schmidt. A brilliant and brazen swindler, Vanja could give Kaz Brekker a run for his money. But Vanja has bigger fish to fry. As her body rapidly turns into the gemstones she craves, Vanja must put things right and face her greed head on all while juggling her engagement to a terrible margrave, an investigator with his own magic, and the princess whose face she stole. Vanja’s relationship with junior prefect Emeric could not be more demisexual if it tried, with both sides of the romance experiencing asexual spectrum existence in different and complimentary ways. One part Germanic fairytale, one part ensemble heist, Little Thieves is an unhinged romp of a book.
20. Everyone Hates Kelsie Miller by Meredith Ireland Rom-coms and the asexuality spectrum...two great things that go great together. Kelsie and Eric have been competing against each other their whole lives. But desperation forces them to work together. Kelsie’s best friend stopped talking to her and Eric wants to rekindle his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and since both will be at UPenn at the same time, Eric and Kelsie decide to go on a road trip together. Sparks fly.
21. You Don't Have a Shot by Racquel Marie Valentina "Vale" Castillo-Green's life revolves around soccer. Her friends, her future, and her father's intense expectations are all wrapped up in the beautiful game. But after she incites a fight during playoffs with her long-time rival, Leticia Ortiz, everything she's been working toward seems to disappear. Queer asexual biracial (Colombian, Irish) protagonist.
22. Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong In 1931 Shanghai, two Nationalist spies pose as a married couple to investigate a series of brutal murders causing unrest in the city. Rep: demisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese main character, Chinese trans woman main character, aromantic asexual side character; (Chinese-Kiwi author).
23. The Spy with the Red Ballon by Katherine Locke Siblings Ilse and Wolf hide a deep secret in their blood: with it, they can work magic. And the government just found out. Blackmailed into service during World War II, Ilse lends her magic to America’s newest weapon, the atom bomb, while Wolf goes behind enemy lines to sabotage Germany’s nuclear program. It’s a dangerous mission, but if Hitler were to create the bomb first, the results would be catastrophic. Gay demisexual Jewish protagonist.
24. Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria Cassa, the orphaned daughter of rebels, and friends Alys, Evander, and Newt, fight back against the high council of Eldra, which has ruled for centuries based solely on ancient prophesies. Alys, an apothecary-in-training and the level-headed one of the crew. She identifies as asexual.
25. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia Eighteen-year-old Eliza Mirk is the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea, but when a new boy at school tempts her to live a life offline, everything she's worked for begins to crumble. Asexual main character, not explicitly stated in the book.
26. Technically, You Started It by Lana Wood Johnson When a guy named Martin Nathaniel Munroe II texts you, it should be obvious who you're talking to. Except there's two of them (it's a long story), and Haley thinks she's talking to the one she doesn't hate. Demisexual main character.
27. Now Entering Addamsville by Francesca Zappia Zora Novak is framed for a crime she didn't commit--in a town obsessed with ghosts, will she be able to find the culprit and clear her name before it's too late? It's a brief mention, but Zora is ace.
28. Fully Disclosure by Camryn Garrett In a community that isn’t always understanding, an HIV-positive teen must navigate fear, disclosure, and radical self-acceptance when she falls in love–and lust–for the first time. One of Simone’s best friends in the book, Claudia, is an asexual lesbian. The unwavering support she gives to Simone is heartwarming, and she is also openly sex-positive—which flips the script on its head regarding what most people would assume of asexual people.
30. The Art of Saving the World by Corinne Duyvis When Hazel Stanczak was born, an interdimensional rift tore open near her family’s home, which prompted immediate government attention. They soon learned that if Hazel strayed too far, the rift would become volatile and fling things from other dimensions onto their front lawn—or it could swallow up their whole town. Hazel Stanczak identifies as asexual, though she spends time in the book questioning it. The book presents a unique way to show that there is not one single way to be asexual—that it exists on a spectrum and can look different for each person.
31. Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann Alice had her whole summer planned. Non-stop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting–working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual). Alice is done with dating–no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done. Alice is a biromantic and asexual black woman who starts off very confident in her identity as asexual, yet has experiences that have her questioning her orientation and how to talk about it.
32. In the Ravenous Dark by AdriAnne Strickland A pansexual blood mage reluctantly teams up with an undead spirit to start a rebellion among the living and the dead. This book features Japha, an asexual nonbinary character who serves as the best friend to the MC.
33. Seven Ways We Lie by Riley Redgate Life at Paloma High School is much like any other high school, with petty drama, judgmental assholes, and mind-numbing schoolwork. Until it isn’t. A scandal emerges: a student and teacher had an illicit affair. At the center of the scandal are seven teenagers, each with their own secrets, whose lives are transformed as a result of this scandal. One of the characters can be read as asexual (and possibly neurodiverse). He never explicitly labels himself as such, but the way he describes his experiences of [non-]attraction strongly point to him being on the ace spectrum.
34. Quicksilver by R. J. Anderson Tori thought she had left her past behind when she and her family started a new life in a new city. But then Sebastian Faraday reappears in her life to tell her that she’s not quite as safe as she thinks: the relay is still operating and a genetics lab is trying to track her down to figure out the secret behind her unusual biology. Tori is going to have to use all of her considerable technical expertise to escape her past and live the normal human life she’s always wanted to have. Asexual main character.
35. Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie Aisha Un-Haad, seventeen, and Key Tanaka, eighteen, have risked everything for new lives as mechanically enhanced soldiers, and when an insurrection forces dark secrets to surface, the fate of humanity is in their hands. In Hullmetal Girls, Aisha is not only ace/aro but she is also happy with her identity. Crucially, so is everyone else.
36. Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer Nita's mother hunts monsters and, after Nita dissects and packages them, sells them online, but when Nita follows her conscience to help a live monster escape, she is sold on the black market in his place. Aro/Ace main character
37. Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp When Corey moves away from Lost Creek, Alaska, she makes her friend Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return. Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger. With every hour, Corey's suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets-- but piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter. Aro/Ace main character.
38. If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to the best place on earth. No, not Disneyland–her Granny’s diner, Goldeen’s, in the small town of Misty Haven. While there, she works in her fabulous 50’s inspired uniform, twirling around the diner floor and earning an obscene amount of tips. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall. …until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen in a highly anticipated matchmaking tradition that she wants absolutely nothing to do with. Aro/ace secondary character.
39. Dread Nation by Justina Ireland An alternate history where the Civil War was put on hold when zombies started to rise. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston's School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn't pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose.But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems. The word asexual is not used, but that fits with the setting, and the explanation goes into a fair amount of detail, also ruling out that she likes women instead.
40. Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson When her convent is attacked by possessed soldiers, Artemisia defends the Gray Sisters by awakening the revenant bound to a saint's relic, even though she runs the risk of being possessed permanently by the powerful ancient spirit. Non-explicit romantic asexual main character. Fantasy.
41. Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace A postapocalyptic ghosthunter escapes her dire fate by joining the ghost of a supersoldier on his quest to the underworld Aromantic asexual main character. Dark fantasy/dystopian.
42. Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno While anyone would love to have a bit of magic, what happens when magic turns dark? Georgina Fernweh will come into her magic someday soon. Before she does, Georgina faces a tragedy that tests the islanders' trust. In this book, Georgina’s best friend Vira is aroace, and it’s addressed somewhat in the story at different points. There is a sweet strength between Georgina and Vira, full of loyalty and support that is lovely to see.
43. The Summer of Bitter and Sweet by Jen Ferguson In this moving and complex narrative, Lou learns to draw boundaries, stand up for herself, all while coming to terms with her demisexuality.
44. The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow One-third of the human population has died and now the world is about to end. Ellie, a fat, Black, disabled, demisexual girl with access to an illegal library teams up with a music-loving alien to risk their lives to save the world.
45. The Grimrose Girls by Laura Pohl Pohl serves up a veritable smorgasbord of queer fairytale goodies in Grimrose Girls. This tale as old as time follows four students at the prestigious boarding school Grimrose Academy—Ella, Yuki, Rory, and newcomer Nani. When the former three’s best friend dies, all four girls are swept up in a dark and twisted mystery full of old fairytale magic. They must work together to unravel the secrets between them and break an ancient curse that dooms them to a fairytale ending (and not the fun kind). Yuki’s aromantic asexual identity is explored in her relationship to expectations, beauty, and friendship throughout the novel.
46. Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time, she’s unafraid to be herself. So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. In this book, Aled identifies as demisexual while Frances identifies as bisexual. The story really pays homage to the importance of friendship, and romantic storylines move to the background in a way we don’t often get in YA literature.
47. This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria Forced to serve her country’s ruling group, Karis wants nothing more than to find her brother. But family bonds don’t matter to the sole focus of unlocking the magic of an ancient automaton army. Karis is ace and other LGBTQ+ characters are introduced throughout.
48. Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand A horror novel centered around three girls facing off against an unseen monster that preys upon the young women of the island of Sawkill Rock. Features a black asexual girl fresh out of a romantic relationship, as well as a f/f relationship.
49. Love Letters for Joy by Melissa See Less than a year away from graduation, seventeen-year-old Joy is too busy overachieving to be worried about relationships. She’s determined to be Caldwell Prep’s first disabled valedictorian. And she only has one person to beat, her academic rival Nathaniel. But it’s senior year and everyone seems to be obsessed with pairing up. One of her best friends may be developing feelings for her and the other uses Caldwell’s anonymous love-letter writer to snag the girl of her dreams. Joy starts to wonder if she has missed out on a quintessential high school experience. She is asexual, but that’s no reason she can’t experience first love, right?
50. Not Your Backup by C. B. Lee Part 3 in the Sidekick Squad series by C.B. Lee. Follows a questioning aromantic asexual latinx superhero sidekick fighting to prove her worth on the team despite her lack of superpowers, all admist the team's battle against the corrupt League of Heroes.
51. Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller Noble-born Emilie des Marais, 16, wants to become a physician, a role usually forbidden women of her class because of the corruptive toll the magical "noonday arts" exact. Common-born Annette Boucher wants to escape her domineering parents and master the less physically costly "midnight arts" of illusions, divination, and scrying, normally reserved for those who can afford the expensive education. At Emilie's urging, each girl takes the other's place. Miller (Ruin of Stars) writes in lush, dense prose that can require a careful read, but her protagonists' awareness of privilege and desire to challenge the status quo shines through. LGBTQ representation--including gay, trans, and nonbinary characters (Annette identifies as asexual biromantic)--further widens this tale's appeal.
52. Tarnished Are the Stars by Rosiee Thor A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws. Determined to earn his father's respect, Nathaniel sets out to capture the Technician. But the more he learns about the outlaw, the more he questions whether his father's elusive affection is worth chasing at all. This YA novel features an aroace character gradually coming to accept his orientation in the midst of everything else that is happening in his life. Perfect for older teens who also enjoy WLW representation and dark themes.
53. Aces Wild: A Heist by Amanda DeWitt An all-asexual online friend group attempts to break into a high-stakes gambling club and commit a heist together. Includes a male asexual character navigating what love looks like for him, an aromantic asexual Latinx gender-nonconforming boy, a Vietnamese American and German asexual nonbinary teen, and a black asexual girl.
54. Planning Perfect by Haley Neil Summer vacation quickly becomes complicated for Felicity Becker as she tries to plan a perfect wedding for her mom, figure out her feelings for her friend Nancy, and wonder what dating will look like for her as an asexual person.
55. Ace of Hearts by Myriad Augustine Everyone around Alvin seems to be obsessed with one thing-- sex. Alvin finds it uncomfortable to think and talk about it and he knows he isn't ready and may never be. His friends, however, think that all Alvin needs is to hook up with the right guy. But the closer Alvin gets to being physical with someone, the more he's uncertain that this is for him and he begins to wonder if he's asexual. Can Alvin find the love that's right for him?
56. Beyond the Black Door by AdriAnne Strickland Everyone has a soul. Some are beautiful gardens, others are frightening dungeons. Kamia comes to know more about her identity as she decides to battle the forces of evil, no matter the cost... Asexual and demi-romantic main characters. Dark fantasy. Kamai is asexual, but isn’t aromantic—she has an interest in relationships that isn’t always depicted for those who are ace.
57. Loveless by Alice Oseman A queer coming of age story featuring a romance obsessed aromantic asexual main character discovering her sexuality and coming to terms with what that means, and a variety of other queer characters that support her on her journey.
58. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman Rumi Seto spends a lot of time worrying she doesn’t have the answers to everything. What to eat, where to go, whom to love. But there is one thing she is absolutely sure of—she wants to spend the rest of her life writing music with her younger sister, Lea. Then Lea dies in a car accident, and her mother sends her away to live with her aunt in Hawaii while she deals with her own grief. While not the main focal point of the book, Rumi does grapple throughout the story about where exactly she lands on the ace and aro spectrum—and whether she has to label herself at all.
59. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee In this queer rom-com, a transgender teen must decide if he's dedicated to romantic formulas or open to unpredictable love after an internet troll attack on his blog compels him and a fan to start fake-dating. Through an unlikely friendship with sweet, grounded Devin, who is Cuban American, asexual, and experimenting with pronouns, Noah--initially self-centered and standoffish--learns to value communication and empathy.
60. The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath In 1904 Norway, Asta runs away from her horrible fiancé to live with her two best friends. The three misfits set out to win the annual Christmas sleigh race to prove that they belong together. Queer asexual hard of hearing protagonist with heterochromia of Norwegian descent.
61. Forward March by Skye Quinlan How can band geek Harper have the chance of becoming the First Daughter with a fake dating profile? However, Harper does know that the drumline leader swiped right. Come along with Harper as she explores her truth during her last year of high school. Asexual-questioning cis female MC with anxiety and asthma.
62. Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger What if America had monsters, magic, and interdimensional beings? For Elatsoe, this is real, and she has to uncover her cousin's murder! She can do this with the help of her ghost dog, Kirby, but has to remember not to wake human ghosts. Aromantic ace main character. Paranormal mystery. Casual representation which extends to Ellie’s identity as Lipan Apache. This identity is asserted more often and firmly than her asexuality, and Little Badger drops in nuggets of education for us settlers about what Indigenous people, and the Lipan Apache in particular, suffered at the hands of settlers.
63. All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Editor Robin Talley A collection of short fantasy stories, featuring a variety of queer characters across multiple sexualities and genders. Features an asexual roller-skating girl from the 70s struggling to explain her identity to her crush.
64. Black Wings Beating by Alex London Twins Brysen and Kylee live in a world that revers the power of the falconers, but in a world where war approaches, they aren’t safe. Hunted for their power, they work together to trap the Ghost Eagle. Kylee is an ace character, focused on protecting her brother.
Graphic Novels
65. A-okay by Jarad Greene Eight grade can be tough, especially if you have acne and bullies, and lose friends. But our relatable asexual and aromantic protagonist, Jay, pulls through. This is a relatable memoir with colorful artwork.
66. How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess A comic memoir detailing the author Rebecca Burgess's experience with growing up asexual in a world obsessed with sex. Also talks about her experiences with her own mental health and OCD.
67. Jughead, Volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky A comic book reboot of the Archie comics centered around Jughead Jones. Follows an aromantic asexual main character in typical Archie-style shenanigans. Part 1 of a 3 part series.
68. A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality by Molly Muldoon A charming introduction to asexuality, created to shed light on the misconceptions surrounding sex and being asexual. Told by writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both on the asexual spectrum.
69. Is Love the Answer? by Isaki Uta A poignant coming-of-age story about a young woman coming into her own as she discovers her identity as aromantic asexual. A complete story in a single volume, from the creator of "Mine-kun is Asexual."
Domestic Fiction
70. Have You Seen Luis Velez by Catherine Ryan Hyde Raymond Jaffe feels like he doesn't belong. Not with his mother's new family. Not as a weekend guest with his father and his father's wife. Not at school, where he's an outcast. After his best friend moves away, Raymond has only two real connections: to the feral cat he's tamed and to a blind ninety-two-year-old woman in his building who's introduced herself with a curious question: Have you seen Luis Velez? Mildred Gutermann, a German Jew who narrowly escaped the Holocaust, has been alone since her caretaker disappeared. She turns to Raymond for help, and as he tries to track Luis down, a deep and unexpected friendship blossoms between the two. Raymond is asexual (to be precise, he is aroace) And he is depicted as kind, loving, sensitive and realistic.
Fantasy
71. In the Lives of the Puppets by TJ Klune In a strange little home built into the branches of a grove of trees, live three robots--fatherly inventor android Giovanni Lawson, a pleasantly sadistic nurse machine, and a small vacuum desperate for love and attention. Victor Lawson, a human, lives there too. They're a family, hidden and safe. Protagonist: Vic, A curious, loving, & asexual human.
72. The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon In the mid-21st century major world cities are controlled by a formidable security force and clairvoyant underworld cell member Paige commits acts of psychic treason before being captured by an otherworldly race that would make her a part of their supernatural army. Demisexual main character.
73. The Perfect Assassin by K.A. Doore Divine justice is written in blood. Or so Amastan has been taught. As a new assassin in the Basbowen family, he's already having second thoughts about taking a life. A scarcity of contracts ends up being just what he needs. Until, unexpectedly, Amastan finds the body of a very important drum chief. Until, inevitably, Amastan is ordered to solve these murders, before the family gets blamed. Amastan is asexual and, as it turns out, homoromantic.
74. The Bruising of Quilwa by Naseem Jamnia Firuz-e Jafari was able to escape the slaughter of traditional blood magic practitioners by immigrating to the city-state of Qilwa. But now a terrible disease is spreading through the city, and Firuz believes it comes from ineptly performed blood magic. Now they must find a way to break a cycle of prejudice in order to survive. From the author: it's about an aroace nonbinary refugee healer who is trying to cure a magical plague in their new home while hiding their blood magic.
75. The Midnight Bargain by C. L. Polk The Midnight Bargain is a story "set in a world reminiscent of Regency England, where women's magic is taken from them when they marry. A sorceress must balance her desire to become the first great female magician against her duty to her family. Ysbeta has a clear goal for her life: to discover and share magic. Besides loving learning for its own sake, Ysbeta is asexual, and wealthy in her own right, so the bargaining season offers her literally nothing.
76. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire Set in a world where a group of children have the ability to find and enter doorways into magical worlds, and now must find who's targetting them for this ability. Lead by an female asexual main character, with a trans love interest. First book in a series of novellas.
Science Fiction
77. The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis She's a priestess of the Sisterhood, traveling the stars alongside the soldiers of Earth who own the rights to her body and soul. When her former captain abandons her, First Sister's hopes for freedom are dashed and she is forced to stay on her ship with no friends, no status, and a new captain she knows nothing about. When the Mother, leader of her order, asks her to spy on Captain Saito Ren, First Sister discovers that sacrificing for the war effort is so much harder to do when your loyalties are split. He climbed his way out of the slums to become an elite soldier of Venus, but now he's haunted by his failures and the loss of his partner Hiro. But when Lito learns that Hiro is alive, but a traitor, and he's assigned to hunt Hiro down, and kill them, Lito must decide what he is actually fighting for - the society that raised him, or himself. As the battle to control Ceres reaches a head, Lito and First Sister must decide what - and whom - they are willing to sacrifice in the name of duty, or for love. Hispanic panromantic asexual protagonist (Lito).
78. Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace Mal is one of many war survivors in the old town working multiple jobs to scrimp by, one of which is her team's streaming video game play. The team lives with several other roommates in a converted hotel room run by Stellaxis, the company that owns half of town, and is the only legal provider of drinkable water. When Mal catches sight of an elusive SecOps character, special non-player characters (NPCs) modeled after Stellaxis' twelve bioengineered operatives, the team pursues her inside the game to catch her on video for two seconds before their power curfew kicks in. By the time Mal heads down for her daily ration of water, they've secured a lucrative contract, involving an in-person meeting and a conspiracy theory, paying them to capture images of the three living SecOps characters. When Mal returns to find out why the next payment failed, she becomes involved in a fracas that will endanger everyone she knows. Aroace main character.
79. To be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers Four astronauts set out to explore the galaxy. This journey spans centuries and many worlds. A thought provoking read that explores the themes of loneliness and sense of purpose. Excellent cast of diverse characters and vivid world building. Chikondi is asexual and the text is careful to note that his relationship to the protagonist is no less emotional or vital than those she shares with people she is sexually involved with.
80. The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong What better person to take down a crime boss than a mixed-species fugitive! Join Jes on this exciting tale of espionage, torture, demolition. Sex-averse panromantic asexual lead character
Historical Fiction
81. Kaikeyi by Vasihnavi Patel The only daughter of the kingdom of Kekaya, she is raised on grand stories about the might and benevolence of the gods. Yet she watches as her father unceremoniously banishes her mother, her own worth measured by how great a marriage alliance she can secure. And when she calls upon the gods for help, they never seem to hear. Desperate for some measure of independence, she turns to the ancient texts she once read with her mother and discovers a magic that is hers alone. Kaikeyi is asexual and aromantic. Although the words "asexual" and "aromantic" aren't used in the book.
Western
82. The Complete Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone Chronicles by L. C. Mawson If you’re looking for steampunk magic, the Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone novellas are the place for you. Read them individually or all together in this compendium. Chapelstone is interested in her inventions, not love and romance.
Paranormal
83. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Homes by Joseph Fink Told in a series of eerie flashbacks, the story of The Faceless Old Woman goes back centuries to reveal an initially blissful and then tragic childhood on a Mediterranean Estate in the early nineteenth century, her rise in the criminal underworld of Europe, a nautical adventure with a mysterious organization of smugglers, her plot for revenge on the ones who betrayed her, and ultimately her death and its aftermath, as her spirit travels the world for decades until settling in modern-day Night Vale. Asexual secondary character.
Romance  
84. All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher After his three ex-girlfriends in a row leave Brennan because he's not fulfilling their sexual needs, he seeks out advice from Zafir, the owner of a sex shop. Zafir introduces Brennan to the concept of asexuality and slowly something more blossoms between them.
85. That Kind of Guy by Talia Hibbert Rae needs a fake date to take to her ex's wedding and convinces Zach, a close friend who has recently discovered that he is demisexual, to play along.
86. The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood In an attempt to convince her best friend that she really is over her ex-boyfriend, grad-student Olive panic kisses stern associate professor Adam in the hallway. (Olive is coded as demisexual/graysexual, but that label is never used in the book).
87. Far From Home by Lorelie Brown The oddest of odd couples finds unexpected joy in Brown’s warm, sweet contemporary romance. American citizen Rachel, a not-quite-asexual assistant film producer struggling to make a living in L.A., is drowning in student debt; Indian immigrant Pari Sadashiv, a lesbian logistics manager, needs a U.S. green card to advance her career. When Rachel offers to marry Pari in exchange for funds, it’s just party banter at first—but what’s to stop them from crafting a friendship with legal and financial benefits? Their platonic plans quickly go awry as Pari’s mother moves in to help plan the wedding, forcing them to live their lie. As Rachel feels herself awakening to an attraction she didn’t even know was possible, Pari has to decide whether she can live with the possible fallout of Rachel’s tentative first foray into same-sex love.
88. Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun Last Christmas, Ellie met Jack in Powell’s when they both went for a copy of Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home, and over a cute argument over “shared custody”, and Jack poking gentle fun at Ellie (who had been crying alone and talking to a footstool as if it were her friend) they start to bond. Jack asks Ellie for coffee, and then they end up spending the whole day together. This is a big deal for Ellie, who is demisexual, and rarely develops attractions to anyone. And then Jack breaks her heart. Fast-forward to this Christmas when Andrew, the landlord who owns the building she works in, asks her to fake-marry him so he can access his inheritance, and shenanigans lead to her agreeing to this and to going home with him for Christmas, and surprise! Jack is Andrew’s sister.
89. The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun Tech wunderkind Charlie has never really been interested in dating, but agrees to join the cast of reality show 'Ever After.' While there he finds himself charmed by his producer, Dev, and questioning his sexuality. The Charm Offensive includes a conversation discussing asexuality and its spectrum.
90. Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky Wren Roland has never been kissed, but he wants that movie-perfect ending more than anything. Thanks to Mateo’s boyfriend, he learns about demisexuality and realizes that when he came out as gay, he had not finished realizing truths about himself and intimate relationships.
91. How to be a Normal Person by TJ Klune Before The House on the Cerulean Sea blew up, Klune wrote this quirky and delightful story of two asexual people finding each other and their happily ever after.
92. Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed This super sweet, low-angst romance centers on two fat, queer women of colour (one Black and one Persian-Arab) who fall in love and find their happy ending with hardly any drama. There’s also anxiety representation. It’s just pure fluffy romance goodness. Demisexual protagonist.
Non-Fiction
93. Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project What does it mean to be ace or aro? How should I approach the challenges that come with being ace or aro? How can I best support the ace and aro people in my life? Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials -- this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum. You are not invisible! You are among friends.
94. Being Ace: An Anthology of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection by Editor Madeline Dyer Discover the infinite realms of asexual love across sci-fi, fantasy, and contemporary stories From a wheelchair user racing to save her kidnapped girlfriend and a little mermaid who loves her sisters more than suitors, to a slayer whose virgin blood keeps attracting monsters, the stories of this anthology are anything but conventional. Whether adventuring through space, outsmarting a vengeful water spirit, or surviving haunted cemeteries, no two aces are the same in these 14 unique works that highlight asexual romance, aromantic love, and identities across the asexual spectrum
95. Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen A non-fiction research book about the asexual perspective on society's facinations with love and sex, and the misconceptions about what being asexual really is and what it means to a person.
96. The Invisible Orientation: an Introduction to Asexuality by Julia Sondra Decker An introduction to what asexuality is, both for people who don't know what that means and for people that may be questioning their own sexuality. It aims to puts asexual people's experiences in context, as they move through a very sexualized world.
97. Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe A graphic memoir about author Kobabe's growing from adolescence to adulthood, as e explores eir gender identity and sexuality. Features a gender queer and asexual main character that uses e/eir pronouns.
98. Ace Voices What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young This is the ace community in their own words. Drawing upon interviews with a wide range of people across the asexual spectrum, Eris Young is here to take you on an empowering, enriching journey through the rich multitudes of asexual life.
99. I Am Ace: Adice on Living Your Best Asexual Life by Cody Daigle-Orians Tackling everything from what asexuality is, the asexual spectrum and tips on coming out, to intimacy, relationships, acephobia and finding joy, this guide will help you better understand your asexual identity alongside deeply relatable anecdotes drawn from Cody's personal experience.
100. Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca Drawing on their personal stories, and those of aspec friends all over the world, prepare to explore your microlabels, investigate different models of partnership, delve into the intersection of gender norms and compulsory sexuality and reconsider the meaning of sex - when allosexual attraction is out of the equation.
I haven't read all of these books, so I can't guarantee all of them. But I did my best researching all of them. I was making this list on my own and I was amazed that I could find over 100 books with asexual characters and I wanted to share it!
The Aromantic Book List is now out!
Tagging some people who were excited about this list: @sweetspiderstew @majorgenerally @shayberri789 @53rdcenturyhero @knightoflodis @neonghost39 @rosaazulina
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shifterdomain · 8 months ago
Text
Masterlist Imagines / Actors
Jonah Hauer-King
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Reading Thirst Tweets
You had wrapped the project you and Jonah had been working on for the past year and a half and now you are invited by Buzzfeed to come and read the Thirst Tweets they picked out for the both of you.
Kids Interview
You and Jonah are traveling across Europe with the rest of the cast for the press tour of The Little Mermaid. You were set to have a day off, but when Halle couldn’t make it to the interview with Jonah because she was feeling ill, you came to do the interview with Jonah instead.
Puppy Interview
You and your boyfriend Jonah do the Buzzfeed Puppy Interview to talk about the new sequel of the 90s hit Beverly Hills 90210 that you both star in.
He comes home again
Your boyfriend Jonah had been in Sardinia for the past 9 months to film The Little Mermaid after finishing the scenes they shot at Pinewood Studios London, while you stayed behind in your guys’ apartment to watch your cat and dog. He wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow afternoon, so you were fairly surprised to see him standing in your doorway.
She called me daddy
You have a 3-year-old daughter from a past relationship, your former partner walking out on your relationship when you had ‘accidentally’ gotten pregnant. Luckily you met Jonah on a night out about a year ago and ever since he met your daughter the two have been completely in love. Now you were at the Little Mermaid premier to cheer on Jonah, hoping to stay behind the scenes, but your daughter had other plans.
Hospital Confessions
You are starring in a big fantasy/action feature, but in doing your own stunt, you get hurt and end up in the hospital. When your cousin Halle visits you, together with Jonah, you end up confessing your love to the latter.
My Milky Way
Jonah owns a little coffee shop in the outskirts of London and every time on your break you go there to rewind. But as time passes, you find that the coffee is not your only reason for coming there.
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alarrytale · 7 months ago
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Happy Monday, Marte! Hope you´ve started new week great!
I got a little confession because I just need to share my feelings. On Saturday I watched TIOY with my (larrie) friend because we just wanted to cringe watch it just to have our own opinion about it. And oh, we both end up so angry? I´ve been thinking why I am so angry about that movie and that´s why I´m writing.
!!SPOILERS ALERT!! For me it´s probably how obviously they get inspired by h*livia in a way like woman in her fresh 40´s is so cool she can make 24 years old man horny and made him want her - Idk why but now I´m just thinking how gp after watching this movie totally think now this is the exact way h*livia went. O is the female bossTM who made men fall for her because she´s cool and so she made H fell for her. She is following him everywhere and having great s*x every night. Because that´s what part of the movie is about - she flew to Europe to join him on tour (her daughter was in the summer camp whole summer so she had nothing to do) and they slept together every single night because he´s the semi-god of s*x and she´s the one who makes him horny and gets this best-s*x-of-her-life thanks to him. And then how their relationship went public and she´s reading tabloids headlines which are way too gross and comments which is even more gross - mocking her because of her age and how she looks like. And again I just saw h*livia in it, I saw how she was the poor little thing woman everybody hated her for dating him- even my former friend who´s het harrie back in 2022 once said to me "She doesn´t have to do anything and fans hate her just because she´s with him" - but you know what, she was the love of her-new-bae´s life. So after 5 years since they separated their ways (and he went solo because again very obvious inspiration with H), she saw his performance on TV with a song very clearly inspired by Sweet Creature (which again made me angry because we know that song is one of the most Louis-coded love songs H has ever written)...and they got back together forever. The End.
So the angry feelings I am feeling right now is because how visibly and obviously they were inspired with h*livia, the worst stunt for us and H himself. And so now everybody (=gp, gf harries) will think this is really how that relationship stunt went - hello tabloid stories how O was missing on the set because she was having s*x with H who couldn´t hold it in his pants because of her. And I truly dislike Nick and Anne now for playing in this movie and worse, Anne for participating in production of the movie.
Seriously, A*fter movies might be dump and cringe for being het harrie wet fantasy but at least those movie don´t act like they have deeper meaning or there is something more going on with H than being the inspiration for H*ardin. But TIOY is on another level with how obvious it is about H, h*livia and the way everybody hates woman just because "she´s happy" (this is literally said in the movie - "Nobody wants woman to be happy") and everybody´s just jealous of her.
Hi, anon!
This week had a great start, hope yours did too!
I can't be bothered with any of these het fanfic inspired movies based on Harry. I haven't seen any of them and i never will. I'm just waiting for the hype around tioy to die down and for people to forget about it. I get why Nick wanted this role (he's got to eat and he gets to act next to an Oscar winner), but i do not understand why Anne took this role (i do, but it's not putting her in a good light). Anyways, moving on.
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thepayloadisgay · 1 year ago
Text
re-wired
Shimadacest / Genzo
M (so far)
Ch 1/??
Tags (so far): canon divergence, angst and feels, omnics, implied alcoholism, masturbation
Hanzo's found himself in Budapest, one of the few places in the world where omnics and humans co-exist in something like normality. And maybe it's like a home now. Worth seeping off these bones as he tries to form the word exist, to live. Dodging, picking off assassins, deafening himself to the news of his clan. Maybe ignorance is bliss. Different names smother Hanzo, numbers his age. But he still knows what he sees when he looks in the mirror. You're not here. Rumblings in the world of omnics start to break the seams of not just Budapest, but Europe, the world. New faces, new names. And then for Hanzo, he can't quite shift this shadow he's sure is an assassin. Why is he taking so long? Why won't he just take the hit and kill him? Maybe it's a fantasy, and he's dreaming demise again. Maybe.
Read below the cut, or on AO3 here. Enjoy!!
He’d been here too long, it was almost home.
But home was nothing, now.
A hollow word in passing, part of a goodbye when leaving behind another face Hanzo will never see again, won’t remember. For those he will, home isn’t a word for them. Even if it’s false.
Strangers are the comfort, familiarity not.
Had anything ever really changed?
The Danube flows beneath. A mirror of colour. Rippling neons, stars almost lost. Forgotten. The colours mush as a tour boat splits the water two, music and laughter pounding the surface, echoing under the bridge where Hanzo stands, forearms bare. Cold on stone, still and sore.
It was sunset when he stopped here, bag of groceries tucked between feet, sparse with too many things he’d forgotten, denied.
It’s night now as he watches the Danube, the burst of people along its banks, tourists spilling onto boats, into restaurants, out of Buda and back into Pest, the roads rumbling as the bars open wide, the clubs dialled to ten.
He moved between the sides of the Danube, never staying with the same four walls too long. From the cobbled streets, high hills near the castle in a cramped room, barely space to stretch; the old communist blocks by the blistered edges, structured, rigid, peace. To the noise, vibrant colliding culture of the centre at the crown of the Andrássy Avenue, woken at dawn by the bells of the basilica.
Just another place bruised in his penance, a witness to his shame.
One day there won’t be anywhere left that won’t know.
Where will he go then?
His watch buzzes midnight, a reminder of routine. To ground. But right now, all it reminds him is that he can’t feel his arms, numb and cold, still stuck to stone as he listens to the water, wondering what it feels like below.
——
The longest he’d been in one place for months. A hostel off of Múzeum körút. Behind a heavy wrought iron gate between a second hand bookstore, and another. Down an alley, path uneven, pages of an old book torn, scattered, its spine split in the gutter.
Hanzo inputs the code, eyes away, long hair a mask from the cameras above, behind, probably below. Ritual more than anything. His face is already all over this city, continent, to those that cared.
Through a doorway painted blue, carvings dying gold. Top floor, but (nearly) always the stairs. Winding and wide. Patterned stone, wrought iron rails in beauty shaped like the tails of his dragons, the arc of his bow.
First two floors the bookstore. The rest are homes, rooms and flats for the hostel, a hotel he knows is half something else. Some of the flats are empty. One abandoned part-way through refurbishment. One destroyed, boarded off (panels placed back carefully every time by each visitor. He’s not the only one). There’s another that one of the residents simply said “nem” when she first saw Hanzo look at its locked door, scratched symbols, words, too many unintelligible in several languages.
So he listened.
As always at this time, she was leaning out of one of the windows on floor four, throwing seed to the pigeons below, the courtyard a cacophony of their coos.
“Late,” she says, heavy accent. Fall of brown hair braided, striped grey. One green eye, the other blind.
Hanzo pulls out a bag of seed, one of two, and hands it to her outstretched palm. “Took a walk,” he says back in slow Hungarian. Everytime he attempts the language, he can see her smile something. He doesn’t know if it's mockery, amusement, or appreciation.
“Take a walk after, next time.”
“Hm.”
He watches her sit back on the stool at the window, cross her legs and scatter a handful of seeds to below.
“Not much.” Hanzo listens, Hanzo watches. “Maria took the kids for the weekend. Jan is leaving for holiday in the morning. Six days. Stephan’s working an extra shift tonight. Looked like he hadn’t slept since the last. Two new guests at the hostel. One’s an omnic.”
“Short term?”
She shrugs. “Omnic five days. The other just a night. But wants to keep it open if needed.”
Hanzo writes to memory everything she says, hearing the gears, wheels of the lift click into motion as it descends down to ground.
“Hotel is come and go as always.”
“How many?”
“Lots. You want a tally? That’s extra.”
Hanzo frowns, a look near lost beneath the heavy fall of his hair.
“Anyone look-”
“Suspicious? Yes. Out of place? No.”
The lift stops, opening at ground.
“Anything else?” he asks, picking his bag from between his feet.
“I left some cabbage rolls in your fridge.”
The lift starts to ascend, and Hanzo tightens the grip on his bag. “Thank you,” he stutters, taking the last flights of steps two at a time.
——
Two old keys unlock the old heavy door. Hanzo pays extra to service the small flat himself, but Mariann owns the hostel, and does what she does after the trust of bird seed and her alarm at the contents of his grocery shopping.
It’s split into kitchen and room with a divider. Old, ornate, teakwood. Some of the design weathered from touch, time. But she never ventures past the three cabinets that make the kitchen. Rarely the fridge.
Shoes off, he sets the bag on the counter. Bare. Empties it quick, pushing the bag of seed to the side for later. Bread, away. Eggs. Fruit. More lentils. Alcohol. Chocolate.
He opens the fridge, the only light in the room. Some condiments. Expired milk replaced with fresh. And a note, stuck to the top of the tupperware of cabbage rolls. Mariann’s scrawl.
Tilly’s got another job for you. 10am. Nehru part.
He closes the door. Darkness, again.
Tapping his watch (1:33am), he sets the reminder alongside his regular alarm for dawn, sheds his coat, takes a banana, slice of bread, bottle of alcohol to bed and nothing.
(but there’s always a pause before the small wooden sparrow he’d carved in Bali, years, years ago. always perched beside a blunted shard of sword, something green. sometimes he reaches out to touch the sparrow
but he can’t
can’t)
——
“Again!”
Genji taps his arm, excited, as he begs Hanzo to show him the trick with the sword, the coin, Hanzo’s patience wearing thin as his younger brother tugs on his sleeve, clambering for attention-
“Here again?”
Genji slides a glass over wood, the bartop sticky, a mosaic of his brother’s prints, wondering how many others overlap, smudging away Hanzo’s, gnawing at the Genji he knows, becoming the Genji they do-
“Again?”
Desperation, Hanzo’s hand slams to the wall beside his brother’s head, hair shorter, greener. Smells sweet and he inhales. Anticipation in Genji’s eyes as he looks up-
“Again-”
A beg, as he pulls Hanzo’s blade further to his chest. Another to his gut. Spread and wept and a maw of no return. Hanzo wants to look up. He hears a smile, but he’d see nothing but desecration. Hears beauty, loves pain. Licks blood, kisses the grave-
——
Hanzo snaps awake, a fist of sheets in his palm, dented with his nails, near torn. Back damp with sweat, hair awry, stuck to skin and sheets, lining the wave of his dragon.
He runs a hand through his hair, staring at the other side of the bed expecting blood and brutal. (maybe a desperation that it might be you there, whole and love, just for me) Two pillows. Untouched. Empty.
Checks his hands.
Reaches out to make sure.
It’s slow as he hauls himself up, finding the hair tie he’d forgotten. But it’s abandoned again when he sees the slither of the curtain move by the window, ajar.
There’s no open windows here unless he’s awake, a guard. It’s small. Barely enough for a hand, the curtain moving in dance as the breeze weaves into the stuffy room, creeping over Hanzo’s sticky skin.
For too long he just stares, a lock of hair tickling against his lips, uncaring.
Impossible. He’s so careful, so-
The curtains flick, light licking the glass on his bedside table, smudged with fingers, lips; the half empty bottle, obscuring the empty one behind.
Adrenaline wanes. Gut sinks. Head rings.
A swallow, and he unsticks from bed, body lead. Two fingers push close the window, keeping to shadow, curtain exhaling, and stop.
He smooths the fabric, touch lingering as if he’s trying to find something, feel something.
Nothing.
He rolls a shoulder, and peels off his shirt, draping it over the back of the chair. When he notices the small wooden sparrow on its side, beak touching the shard of his sword.
There’s no hesitation this time when Hanzo reaches out, picks it up to right the wrong, sitting it back in ceremony.
5:16 am
The basilica will ring soon at six. As will his alarm. There’s no point in bed anymore. All that’s left is sheets that need washed, dreams given, taken, and an empty space you won’t fill.
He checks the window again. Runs his hand over the locks on the door. Touches the two tiles beside the fridge and then steps into the bathroom, avoiding the mirror as he sheds the rest of his clothes, turning the shower to max.
The light from the room is enough as he steps inside, a shaky inhale as the water burns his skin, the steam clouding vision, muggy air.
Palm to wet wall (Hanzo’s hand slams to the wall beside his brother’s head) he breathes deep, long (Smells sweet and he inhales) forehead smudging tiles, hand smearing chest (Anticipation in Genji’s eyes as he looks up-) and Hanzo looks down, sliding his wet hand over wet cock-
(Licks blood, kisses the grave-)
-wondering if he’ll suffocate or burn, first.
——
Too early.
Hanzo wanders the quiet streets near the park, window shopping mindlessly. Catching his reflection more than wanted. He’s dressed well today. He always is.
But over the months, years, he’s been slipping. Living as a nomad from room to face to place, he was sure a part of him had shed everywhere he’d left behind. Something in him wearing thin he didn’t want to know. Just felt.
He stares a little longer at a shop window selling leather goods, stretching his fingers against his own gloves, old and worn and a shape of his own.
Hair pulled back in a bun, he runs a hand along one side, his undercut growing out too long, pinched grey. The other side he’d let grow long ago, the shorter lengths long enough to catch in his ponytail now. Usually.
He keeps the beard. Sometimes shaving when moving cities, countries, to hide. It’s mostly too much of a comfort, now. Too bare without.
Too long he’s looked, and turns away.
09:37 and he has a coffee. Black. Three sugars.
09:49 and he’s sitting on a bench in Nehru Part, close to the edge of the Danube. And he waits.
Watches the way the wind rustles the leaves on the trees above, hushing the city’s sound to their own, shedding the first leaves before the yawn of Autumn, side to side in a dance, before falling at Hanzo’s feet.
Feels the breeze on his skin. Nothing like earlier in his room. An alarm, unexpected. This might be something like comfort, pulling the shorter strands of hair from his bun, picking up the leaves at his feet, pulling the scent of pastries at his back, the scatter of voices ahead. No words, just noise.
He takes a drink of his coffee, counting another day.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Hanzo takes another drink of his coffee as he ignores Tilly. As she takes a seat at his side, always a little too close. It’s just a bit of fun for her, exploring the intricacies of human’s social bounds, their affection, fun. And with Hanzo, if he has any of the above.
Hanzo just recrosses his legs, foot pointing in the opposite direction.
“What’s the job?”
“I hear cucumbers help for those dark eyebags,” she says, casual. Two of her forehead LEDs are broken, the lilac, sometimes turquoise, brighter on her left side. Which Hanzo also notices that she uses more, moves more, than her right.
“Any other top ten magazine quips for me this morning?”
Tilly laughs, the two elongated sides of her head plate that remind Hanzo of wings, lighting up with the trill of her voice. “As many as you want.”
Hanzo inhales slow. Steady. “Oh, good.” Takes another sip.
“Got you another observe and report at Blood and Chrome tonight. Maybe protect if shit goes down. They liked you last time.” Tilly sits chin on palm as she waits for Hanzo’s reply, knowing his answer already. Money good. Low risk. Trusted.
“Bartend again?”
“Yup.”
A last, long drink of his coffee. Hanzo stares at the university of technology and economics across the river, sunlight picking out the details on stone, the pillars, the gold and mosaic on its red roof. Age and beauty, stories worn, time crumbled. He wants to sketch it every time he sees it, despite never having drawn a single thing before. He’s gotten as far as purchasing a sketch book, pencils. Next time.
“Send me the details.”
“Thanks, Han.”
“Thanks, Han.” Genji always talked with touch as well as tongue. Hands busy forming the words, contact, their meaning. It became a second language in public. A third, in private.
“Hanzo.” He doesn’t look at her. A voice firm, but not unkind. A way she’s heard many times before, and will hear many times again.
“Wish I could stay, but I got more messages to deliver,” she says, climbing over the back of the bench. “Get some sleep Han.” A quiet ‘Hmph’ “ Eat Mar’s stuffed cabbages at least.”
“Goodbye, Tilly.”
“Szia.”
He sits for a while, coffee cup empty, fingers cold. The trees stretch, the Danube sighs. Sun quiets behind clouds.
And from the small bag in his coat pocket, Hanzo throws a handful of bird seed to the ground, watching pigeons, great tits, a sparrow swoop down, and dance at his feet.
——
It had taken months. Trial and error with several prototypes, but Hanzo had managed (with some help) to have his own collapsible bow, without compromising performance or integrity. A labour of love.
Compact enough to fit in a bag. The arrows were the problem. One couldn’t simply split them in two, assemble and fire like he could his bow with a touch, flick, done.
Luckily few people cared what others carried here. Pistols on hip. Rifles on back. Swords in sheaths. As long as you had your permit, of course.
“Just a bow, arrows?” asks the omnic. Mariann had said her name was Tilly. Seven LEDs on her forehead. Three eye slits, not two. It looked like the third she’d carved herself. “No sword? You look like a sword guy.”
“Bow, and arrows.” “Alright alright. I’ll get one done.” “I’ll need a few, with different names.” “That’ll cost ya.” Hanzo sets down a stack of Euros, sinking back against the metal dresser, the bass of the club below stuck in his throat. “Help yourself.”
A city of humans, omnics, side by tentative side. Many still walked on tiptoes, ready to flee. Some settled to heels, shoulders dropped, calling Budapest home.
A city now almost its own state, rolling its own laws, walls, declaring stability for omnics (safety was arguable), work, if they proved themselves (we don’t talk about what happened if they didn’t).
Fast becoming a multicultural epicentre like London, it was expanding out, and up. But also, down.
And down, was where Hanzo walked. Lived. Worked.
Crime thrived here. A congregation of humans and omnics brushing side by side, co-existing but wanting to live, bred a rich, vibrant underworld that lived seen, unseen. World, within world. And even if it felt like the city was holding its breath, it seemed to work.
It wasn’t lost on Hanzo that he’d turned his back on his family, their legacy, ways-
-only to fall right back in, just a different shade, name.
At least here, he felt like he was helping people (didn’t you try back home too?), useful and giving back (funny what memories we pick and choose).
Mostly, though, he was doing it to survive. What money he’d taken from his family dwindling, and it was a reliable way to keep an ear to the ground, connected. Safe, within harm.
And Hanzo knew the world. How to move. Talk. When to run, when to bleed.
Tonight, he was back at Blood and Chrome, one of the less mainstream mixed clubs for humans and omnics (there were segregated clubs, of course. The omnics only clubs never staying in one place too long, rotating locations, word of mouth, last minute). Fewer tourists, less desirable location away from the Danube, tucked underground - but it mattered in almost every other way in the world he walked.
Here you find people you want, people you don’t. People you won’t anywhere else. Money changes hands more than some banks. Names change when you walk through the door. Faces forgotten when you walk back out.
The drinks are good, the music a mix of rock, metal, EDM depending on room, night, with places to dance, talk, and doors to close for things you don’t want anyone to see. All tucked underground in an old metro station, decommissioned and reclaimed.
The club is built around its exposed bones, dented with years of nights like this. Graffiti immortalising Budapest’s metamorphosis to today. LEDs lining floors, walls, hanging from exposed beams and concrete, under tables, part of chairs. Murals spread over walls, some on ceilings. There’s colour everywhere, and it changes when you’re not looking. When you forget, and are dragged back weeks later for a job you don’t want.
It stinks of alcohol. Sweat. Metal. Oil.
It tastes of whatever you want.
And it sounds busy, voices indistinguishable between the music as Hanzo slips in through the back, the omnic bouncer stepping aside, expecting him. It’s a Friday, so not unusual. He’s working the room they call The Boiler. Downstairs again and one of the bigger rooms, sometimes closed off for exclusivity. Sometimes for a dead body.
The first time he came here, it felt like a community more than a club. More rooms unfolding after each door. Stairs leading to more floors he wondered how far down it really went. Owned by an omnic and human couple, there was always a buzz when they were spotted at their club, tucked in a corner, private.
There was a buzz tonight, but it felt different. As if something new had cracked open. Bristling hairs on skin, sparking exposed wires, the seams of the city picked.
Hanzo hangs his coat, and a last glance at the mirror in the bar staff room, tucking his hair back into a bun. The shorter strands of his outgrown undercut already falling free.
He tucks his small pack at the back of his waist with his bow, arrows already long stashed underneath the bar from his last few jobs here. And pushes the swing doors open for work.
All Blood and Chrome’s employees were like Hanzo. Well. All those down in The Boiler floor and below, anyway. Criminals; former, current, no-choice in the matter. Everyone vetted heavily by the owners, recommended from all the way down from Mariann and even Tilly, he was sure (“hey I’m just your messenger and forgery bot”).
“Oh hey-” she stops, trying to pick his name from memory.
“Morio.”
“Oh, that’s right. Mo.”
A short, sharp sigh. “What is it with people and nicknames, here.”
Hanzo tucks a cloth into his belt, dressed in black jeans, purple long sleeve t-shirt (tattoo always covered, here), half hanging off his right shoulder. Some nights there was a dress code. Usually, it was whatever the hell you wanted. Hanzo tried to dress unassuming. Like anyone who might walk through these doors.
He missed his hair ribbon.
Sometimes he still caught himself reaching up to touch, run his fingers along the silk.
“Easier to say,” she says tapping something into her phone. Hanzo’s burner beeps (everyone has a burner just for work. Sometimes two). “Remember mine?”
“Adrienne.”
A smirk. “Not nickname but, accent’s getting better,” she says with a wink under her mane of red curls. “Anyway. You’re assigned to the veranda tonight.”
(Excerpt from mixed nightlife spots of Budapest for the traveller: …The Veranda: despite being underground, this section of The Boiler Room looks a lot like a veranda might. Or not. Aglow in faux nature, bloom changing weekly, wood fused with metal and the lights, it’s become a favourite corner of those that matter around here…)
“Who?”
Adrienne nods to his burner and she turns back to the bar, asking for the customer’s request, flicking two glasses onto the bar with flair.
Hanzo unlocks the file with thumbprint, a secondary code following.
Rav[REDACTED] Approx 20 active years [REDACTED]tor. Tall. Smooth voice, apparently. Controlled and calm. Purple colourings. You’ll know him when you see him. Rumblings of him through the omnics like livewire right now. Heard he’d rather skewer a human than sit next to one, but when you're desperate, right? Think he’s here for connections, money, help, fucking anything for his cause. I need to know. You have ears like a bat and some weirdo intuition. You ain’t failed me yet, Katniss.
Hanzo glances at The Veranda. Two humans. Omnic. Some vacant tables. Empty glasses litter their table. He takes a tray, and walks, weaving through bodies, blaring music, faces he knows, doesn’t.
None of them know him as Hanzo. He wonders when he’ll lose his name, too.
The music muted as he steps into The Veranda, the words and whispers of every face he plucks to memory all that matters now.
His mark isn’t here yet, so he waits. Watches. Works.
——
He sits in a corner, arm over a woman he’s known for an hour. Couples less inconspicuous than alone. He hasn’t talked to her since walking in the door. Neither has she, her face pin lit from her phone.
Eyes follow his mark. Back. Forth. Cybernetic eyes building on what he already knows.
Not tonight, they said, he’s here. City’s a livewire. Guest of honour.
So he waits. Watches. Works.
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europeincomingei · 2 years ago
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Austrian and Bavarian Christmas markets
Austria, where the most well-known carol of the holiday season, "Silent Night," was first played more than 200 years ago, is awash in the joyful swirl of warm hearted Christmas sights, sounds, and fragrances. Austrians refer to the Advent season as "the most tranquil time of the year." The weeks leading up to Christmas are a time for reviving ancient traditions, such as baking cookies, hanging Christmas ornaments, and singing carols with family members. The Salzburg City Centre Christmas Market, one of the oldest in all of Austria, stretches all the way back to the fifteenth century.  The famous "Vienna Magic of Advent," which transforms City Hall Square into a glittering fantasy world, is one of the most well-known Austrian Christmas markets. Being a premier destination management organization in Europe, we are specialists in designing events and itineraries that are especially tailored to the needs of the tourists we serve. We're passionate about developing packages that enable a wide spectrum of travellers to discover Europe's rich depth of culture and tradition, attend exciting events, and witness beautiful scenery and iconic places. From leisure groups and students to FIT, corporate MICE, and destination events.
Europe's best Christmas markets are found in Germany, and Bavaria is proud to host the most enchanted and lavish local festivities. During the holiday season, it's impossible to avoid visiting Munich, Nuremberg, Rothenburg, Regensburg, and hundreds of other tiny Alpine villages. The best Christmas market in all of Bavaria is located in Munich. Nürnberg's Christkindlesmarkt in Hauptmarkt square hosts over 2 million tourists each year and is praised for its exquisite mediaeval beauty. Another popular option for Bavarian Christmas markets is the historic city of Regensburg. We are a group of European travel and events experts who collaborate with agents, event organizers, and their clients from around the world to provide our in-depth knowledge of destinations and planning skills. Whether it's lodging, transportation and ground transfers, escorted tours, event locations, special event support, or entertainment, we offer agents and event planners seamless solutions for their clients from planning to departure. We are quite knowledgeable about the UK and every other European country. We may create single city or multi-city itineraries to assist your clients get the most out of their trip. We have an advantage that can assist your customers with their travel arrangements thanks to our affiliation with hotels, transportation providers, escorted excursions, and local guides.
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itisannak · 2 years ago
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Dr. Angel Face, The Complete Masterlist
The Prequels:
Meet Cute to Second Date: Calum is brought to the ER after an accident to get checked. There, he meets a breathtakingly gorgeous neurology resident, whom he just has to take out on a date.
House Date to Board Prep: After 2 incredible dates, Calum and (Y/N) take their relationship a bit further. A hospital party where he meets her colleagues, a fantasy of hers come to life, and the cutest study date, solidify their relationship.
Boards to Wedding Invitation: (Y/N) sits her board exams while Calum is away for promo. When she passes her boards, Calum celebrates her by treating the hospital, earning a permanent spot in the hearts of the staff. It is finally time for (Y/N) to meet Calum’s closest friends, which of course is not uneventful. (Y/N) gets invited to a wedding, and Calum wants to be her plus one.
Wedding Attendance to Midnight Visit: Dr. (Y/L/N) and Mr. Hood attend the Karev wedding, where things couldn’t have gone more wrong. After spending a few nights at Calum’s place, (Y/N) decides to spend the night at her place.
Visiting on Tour to Leaving for Europe: (Y/N) visits Calum on tour, where she learns some information that disturbs her plans for the holiday. Calum leaves for Europe, meaning that the couple will see each other in more than 3 months.
Being Away to New Year's Day: With Calum gone to Europe for his tour, and then to Australia for the holidays, (Y/N) is going to spend the holidays all alone, which is as depressing as it sounds.
Birthday Boy: Calum has a wishlist for his birthday. And Dr. Angel Face plans on crossing every item off.
First Fight to First Anniversary: Calum and (Y/N) have their first fight ever. After bouncing back from it, they celebrate their anniversary and exchange the most thoughtful gifts. (coming soon)
Meet the Family: Calum's mom and sister visit him in California and they finally meet (Y/N), probably in her worst possible moment. (coming soon)
Moving In: (Y/N) has been staying with Calum since the argument with her housemate, as a temporary solution, which Calum plans on making permanent.
The Main Stories:
Fetish: Dr. Angel Face gets home to her boyfriend after a day at the hospital. Instead of going out, they opt to stay in, and Calum reveals another fetish.
Heat: Calum is home from his tour, craving some piece of normal life and some time with his girlfriend. A hot date, followed by an even hotter day at the pool, offer him just that.
Heat Extended: (Y/N) and Calum host their friends for a pool party. But of course, they are all over each other like they have just met.
Dr. Angel Face: “I know that if there ever was a manifestation of pure, true destiny into my life, it was the moment they rolled you in my Emergency Room.”
Wrapped Around Your Finger: Marriage bliss, the honeymoon, and family planning constitutes the next chapter of (Y/N)'s and Calum's love story. (coming soon) (Four Parts)
Dr. Angel Face 6 (Untitled): The final chapter of Calum's and (Y/N)'s love story, in which their beautiful family is expanding. (coming soon)
The Alternative:
Dr. Angel Face Alternative: What if Calum had enough of (Y/N) choosing surgery over him? (Chronologically taking place after the Fetish chapter)
My Masterlist Chronological Masterlist Prompt List The "Less than 100 Notes Fics" Masterlist My Ko-Fi My IG My Wattpad
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youhearstatic · 3 years ago
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For your blupjeans game: free choice? An au based on a story you think is fun but you don't think you'll write!
There's a Shah Rukh Khan movie that came out several years ago called "Jab Harry Met Sejal" that I think would be an adorable Blupjeans AU.
Picture Lup as a world traveling tour guide. It's a great life for her. She has no roots, no ties, she drags tourists around during the day and at night she parties and flirts and does as she pleases. It's an easy, breezy, free floating sort of life.
She dumps off her newest group at the airport and is looking forward to a week off when one of the tourists (Barry, of course) comes rushing up to her insisting he needs her help. He lost something important at the bar they went to the night before and he can't leave without it. She does everything she can to blow him off but he won't be dissuaded and eventually all she can do is take him there and hope that will get rid of him.
They go to the bar which is of course closed this early and she gets them to let them come search. While he searches everywhere he was in this place, she basically is just bored and waiting for him to be done. But slowly it comes out, he lost the engagement ring that's been in his family for generations. He was supposed to do the big public proposal with it and he can't leave without it.
What follows is a zany trip across fantasy Europe to each and every place they'd been to on the two week tour, chasing one ridiculous lead after another.
And falling in love.
Barry had been all set to marry the daughter of the family his family has known for decades because it would make all their families happy and he's never found anyone else he cared about, she's nice, so why not. (He doesn't love her is why not. She doesn't love him either. It's convenient, is all.)
Meanwhile Lup, for all she seems to enjoy her life, every time Barry seems to have any real interest in her, she points out that she's the one guys fall for but not the one guys stay with. They might want to have a fling with the cute tour guide, but no one ever wanted to settle down with her or bring her home to meet the parents.
Barry, of course, thinks she's trying to keep him at a distance because he's just not good enough for her. Especially since they just! keep! running! into! her! flings! and they are all young and handsome and fun.
They keep going and searching and not finding the ring and falling more in love but also more certain the other could never really feel the same.
And then they run into her brother Taako. He's getting married and he wants her to stick around, meet his fiance, come to the wedding. Please, she's rarely around, just a few texts a week, maybe a phone call. He'd really like her to be there.
Barry insists no only on them staying but on throwing him a party to celebrate. Lup sees how much it means to her brother and throws herself into it. Once she meets Kravitz and sees how crazy the two are for one another, she's even more committed to giving him the perfect party and wedding. And there's Barry, acting as co-host of the party and helping make sure it's the perfect, magical night.
When everyone leaves, it's just the two of them and the happy couple. Taako wants to know what's up between them. Lup shrugs it off. "It doesn't matter. He's a tourist and this is a holiday. In the end, everyone goes home."
And Barry, who'd been so happy and light and, for the first time in his life, completely at home in this group of strangers, feels that push again, of her shoving him away.
Taako and Kravitz leave and they are alone. "Where do we go next to find the ring?" she asks him.
He's distracted by her words earlier and slow to answer so she answers for him. "I think you go home now. It's time you go back to your real life."
So he faces her and says, "I don't want to. I don't want to go back. I've been a different person, a happier person, I-"
"So now you're going to be the guy who dumps his girlfriend, his fiance? And runs off with the tour guide? Come on, that's not who you want to be."
"What do you want, Lup?"
"It doesn't matter what I want."
"Of course it does."
And she's silent for far too long. "I want you to go back to your life."
So he does. He leaves an envelope for her and when she opens it she finds the ring and a short note. 'I found it a few days ago, caught in my jeans pocket. But you're the only one I wanted to give it to so I'm leaving it with you.'
Of course, she goes after him, tries to find him but he's gone. So she goes back to her life, being a tour guide, and okay, at least spending more time around Taako. And after a few months of her moping around and coasting through her days, Taako tells her to move on and forget about the guy. He's gone, probably married by now, get over it.
But she doesn't want to, she tells him.
"Then why didn't you tell him that?"
"Would it have mattered?"
"I don't know, that's not up to me! It's up to him! But you never said anything!"
So of course, she decides she WILL go tell him. At his wedding, which had of course come up in their weeks together, the whole big double family shindig at the biggest hotel in his city and the looming date of the thing. So she shows up, ready to crash the wedding and make her declaration.
But he's not part of the happy couple at the alter. The wedding was cancelled and some other couple got the venue.
Of course he outside when she leaves and they finally talk and kiss and live happily ever after because they're Blupjeans and I say they always always always do.
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taleofharrison · 4 years ago
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The One | Calum Hood
Summary: Calum tells the story of how you knew you were the one while you talk about your movie and he talks about his fifth album.
Warnings: A flashback with italics and Tom Holland as a guest (he’s mentioned once)
Requested: nope just wanted to write something wher Tom and 5sos are friends.
Word Count: 943
A/N: Just a blurb living in my fantasy world where my comfort celebrities know each other.
MASTERLIST HERE
“From the new movie Runaway and from 5 Seconds of Summer please welcome Y/N Y/L/N and Calum Hood!” James Corden announced.
This would be the first interview without any of your castmates and the first one for Calum without any of his bandmates this time the stars aligned and 5SOS released their fifth studio album and your movie came out almost at the same time meaning his label and your PR team would use your relationship and get as much juice out of it as possible and while you and Calum hated the way your relationship was used for clout or promo sometimes you guys wouldn’t say no to an interview together.
“Y/N your movie is doing great in the box office right now, Calum your band just earned another number one album, and you are also engaged” the crowd cheered with James’ words “you really are the definition of power couple, aren’t you?”
“Well, what can I say?” Calum shrugged “I hit jack pot when I met her.”
He grabbed your hand and kissed it making you giggle.
“Now let’s talk about your movie where you share screen with the one and only Tom Holland care to share about that experience?” James moved on with the interview.
“It was a pleasure working with him he really puts a lot of himself in his craft and I think we both learned a lot from each other since a lot of the scenes were so intense to shoot sometimes. We had each other’s backs all the time” you answered.
“Now was it difficult to find the chemistry?” he inquired again. Calum might have known where this was going to, so he chuckled.
“The moment we met we started hanging out way before shooting our characters only have each other and while they are not the best friends at the beginning, they grow to like each other and form a pretty solid friendship” you spoke not really giving that much away.
“It seems like you formed a pretty strong bond outside silver screen” he said, “so strong that Tom became your fiancé’s new best friend.”
James pulled out a screenshot from under his desk it was from Luke’s Instagram. The photo was of Calum and Tom both clearly wasted and the caption saying I think I’ve been replaced.
The audience laughed with James and Calum while you just face palmed yourself.
“Honestly sometimes it felt like the ones who had to bond for a movie were them not me and Tom” you joked playfully rolling your eyes which earned you a kiss on the cheek from Calum “I was third wheeling most of the time.”
With one last chuckle James moved on to Calum “and about your album how does it feel to come back with your fifth album and still hitting number one?”
“It still feels surreal to be honest” he replied, “the fans are crazy some of them been supporting us for 10 years some for a few months, but they seem to connect a lot with us, and our music and they are so passionate and supporting of us, we’re so grateful.”
“This time you guys released a ballad for a lead single why?”
“It was a bold choice but since the four of us are in strong relationships now and that was a love song, we felt the strongest song was that one and we followed our gut” Calum explained looking at you, clearly you had been his inspiration.
“And may I ask you how you knew she was the one?”
Saying ‘when I met her’ was cliché Calum knew that and there was a more special moment which made him think ‘holy shit she’s the one’ so he went for that one.
Another tour, another late-night flight, and another jet lag. Nothing new in his life it had been his life since he turned 16-17, he doesn’t even remember and while Calum loved the fans and being on stage, he couldn’t lie he was glad he was at home again with Duke and with you.
Your relationship with Calum was just a couple months old when he had to leave for a world tour, and he had been so nervous to ask you to stay at his house every now and then and to take care of Duke you accepted of course you wouldn’t leave his poor dog alone.
When Calum stepped into his bedroom, he saw you sleeping in one of his hoodies with Duke cuddled to your stomach.
“It was in that moment when it hit me and I realized how much effort she put into the long-distance thing and appreciated when she convinced the studio to let her go for a couple to Europe with me” he said, “it was then when I knew that I love her even though our relationship was just a couple months old.”
“And Y/N did you have a moment like that too?” James asked while the public awed at his story.
“Uhm not really” you said “I guess when I managed to get some time off from shutting just so I could visit him was when I realized that I would anything for him. I guess it was sixth sense telling me that I shouldn’t let him go, that I couldn’t let him go and that’s why I was so invested in it and to make it work, I just wasn’t doing it consciously back then.”
“That just sounds like you’re soulmates” James said while you and Calum smiled at each other “we’ll be right back to play spill your guts or fill your guts with Calum Hood and Y/N Y/L/N”
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schelluminium · 21 days ago
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Guys, I'm shaking omg
someone truly amazing (dunno if she wants to be mentioned publically) got me a FUCKING VIP TICKET FOR OMAR AAAHHHHHHH 💜💜
I'm gonna be able to TALK to him and TELL him how much he and his music mean to me omg
Like, I'm LITERALLY shaking rn I'm so happy!
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16woodsequ · 11 months ago
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101 Aromantic Books Rec List
For this list the goal is fiction books with a main character or significant secondary character that is on the Aromantic spectrum, or non-fiction books about being Aro-spec. Some books will overlap with my Asexual Book rec list.
Junior Novel
1. Hazel's Theory of Evolution by Lisa Jen Bigelow Hazel knows a lot about the world. But even Hazel doesn't have answers for the questions awaiting her as she enters eighth grade. What if no one at her new school gets her, and she doesn't make any friends? What's going to happen to one of her moms, who's pregnant again after having two miscarriages? Why does everything have to change when life was already perfectly fine? Hazel is asexual and aromantic (it isn't said in the book, but it is specified in the author's note at the back of the book).
2. Every Bird A Prince by Jen Reese After she saves the life of a bird prince and becomes their champion, seventh grader Eren Evers must defend a forest kingdom, save her mom, and keep the friendships she holds dear--if she is brave enough to embrace her inner truths. Eren is aromantic.
3. The Dragon of Ynys by Minerva Cerridwen Every time something goes missing from the village, Sir Violet, the local knight, makes his way to the dragon's cave and negotiates the item's return. It's annoying, but at least the dragon is polite. But when the dragon hoards a person, that's a step too far. Sir Violet storms off to the mountainside to escort the baker home, only to find a more complex mystery—a quest that leads him far beyond the cave. Accompanied by the missing baker's wife and the dragon himself, the dutiful village knight embarks on his greatest adventure yet. AroAce main character.
YA Fiction
4. Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace A postapocalyptic ghosthunter escapes her dire fate by joining the ghost of a supersoldier on his quest to the underworld Aromantic asexual main character. Dark fantasy/dystopian.
5. Latchkey by Nicole Kornher-Stace Isabel, once known as Wasp, has become leader of the fearsome upstarts, the teen girl acolytes who are adjusting to a new way of life after the overthrow of the sadistic Catchkeep-priest. They live in an uneasy alliance with the town of Sweetwater—an alliance that will be tested to its limits by the dual threats of ruthless raiders from the Waste and a deadly force from the Before-time that awaits in long-hidden tunnels. Archivist Wasp Sequel. Aro/Ace protag.
6. Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson When her convent is attacked by possessed soldiers, Artemisia defends the Gray Sisters by awakening the revenant bound to a saint's relic, even though she runs the risk of being possessed permanently by the powerful ancient spirit. Non-explicit romantic asexual main character. Fantasy.
7. Not Even Bones by Rebecca Shaeffer Nita's mother hunts monsters and, after Nita dissects and packages them, sells them online, but when Nita follows her conscience to help a live monster escape, she is sold on the black market in his place. Aro/Ace main character
8. When Villains Rise by Rebecca Shaeffer With her best friend, Kovit's, life in danger, Nita is determined to take down the black market once and for all. Latina asexual and aromantic main character.
9. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee Henry "Monty" Montague was bred to be a gentleman. His passions for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men, have earned the disapproval of his father. His quest for pleasures and vices have led to one last hedonistic hurrah as Monty, his best friend and crush Percy, and Monty's sister Felicity begin a Grand Tour of Europe. When a reckless decision turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything Monty knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores. Aro/ace secondary character (prequel to a Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy).
10. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee A year after an accidentally whirlwind grand tour with her brother Monty, Felicity Montague has returned to England with two goals in mind—avoid the marriage proposal of a lovestruck suitor from Edinburgh and enroll in medical school. A highly loved book in regards to asexual portrayal, Felicity’s journey does a fantastic job of exploring the struggle of navigating a world where marriage is expected of women in order to function in society. Even more refreshing is Felicity isn’t just avoiding getting married out of a sole rebellion against the patriarchy (though those themes are also present), but simply because she doesn’t have an interest in sexual or romantic relationships at all.
11. Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp When Corey moves away from Lost Creek, Alaska, she makes her friend Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return. Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger. With every hour, Corey's suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets-- but piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter. Aro/Ace main character.
12. Seven Ways We Lie by Riley Redgate Seven students. Seven (deadly) sins. One secret. There is a character who sounds asexual and aromantic and autistic but none of these are ever explicitly named. He seems like a stereotype at first but has his own storyline that's both important plot wise and gives him his own character arc.
13. Not Your Villain by C. B. Lee Bells Broussard thought he had it made when his superpowers manifested early. Being a shapeshifter is awesome. He can change his hair whenever he wants, and if putting on a binder for the day is too much, he's got it covered. But that was before he became the country's most-wanted villain. After discovering a massive cover-up by the Heroes' League of Heroes, Bells and his friends Jess, Emma, and Abby set off on a secret mission to find the Resistance. Aromantic Black secondary character.
14. Not Your Backup by C. B. Lee Part 3 in the Sidekick Squad series by C.B. Lee. Follows a questioning aromantic asexual latinx superhero sidekick fighting to prove her worth on the team despite her lack of superpowers, all admist the team's battle against the corrupt League of Heroes.
15. Fire Becomes Her by Rosiee Thor With only a drop, one can light the night sky with fireworks . . . or burn a building to the ground. The few flare families on top — the so-called “elite” — hoard the magical resource for themselves, and seventeen-year-old Ingrid Ellis wants her fair share. Main character is demiromantic.
16. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman Rumi Seto spends a lot of time worrying she doesn’t have the answers to everything. What to eat, where to go, whom to love. But there is one thing she is absolutely sure of—she wants to spend the rest of her life writing music with her younger sister, Lea. Then Lea dies in a car accident, and her mother sends her away to live with her aunt in Hawaii while she deals with her own grief. While not the main focal point of the book, Rumi does grapple throughout the story about where exactly she lands on the ace and aro spectrum—and whether she has to label herself at all.
17. If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to the best place on earth. No, not Disneyland–her Granny’s diner, Goldeen’s, in the small town of Misty Haven. While there, she works in her fabulous 50’s inspired uniform, twirling around the diner floor and earning an obscene amount of tips. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall. …until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen in a highly anticipated matchmaking tradition that she wants absolutely nothing to do with. Aro/ace secondary character.
18. The Trouble With Robots by Michelle Mohrweis Evelyn strives for excellence. Allie couldn't care less. Together, these polar opposites must work together if they have any hope of saving their school's robotics program. Allie is asexual and/or aromantic.
19. Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong In 1931 Shanghai, two Nationalist spies pose as a married couple to investigate a series of brutal murders causing unrest in the city. Rep: demisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese main character, Chinese trans woman main character, aromantic asexual side character; (Chinese-Kiwi author).
20. It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano Yasm Trevi didn't have much of a freshman year thanks to Hurricane Humphrey, but she's ready to take sophomore year by storm. That means mastering the marching side of marching band--fast!--so she can outshine her BFF Sofia as top of the flute section and earn first chair. But Yasm steps off on the wrong foot when she reports an anonymous gossip Instagram account harassing new band members and accidentally gets the entire low brass section suspended from extracurriculars. Rep: Biracial Latina fat asexual-questioning cis female MC, Jewish gray-aromantic gray-asexual male side character with ADHD and APD.
21. An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows When an Australian teenager follows a world walker through a magical portal, she lands herself in the middle of a deadly web of politics and a potential civil war. Saffron’s fate is intertwined with that of many women, and the whole world hangs in the balance. Gwen Vere – allosexual (queer) and aromantic. (source)
22. Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger What if America had monsters, magic, and interdimensional beings? For Elatsoe, this is real, and she has to uncover her cousin's murder! She can do this with the help of her ghost dog, Kirby, but has to remember not to wake human ghosts. Aromantic ace main character. Paranormal mystery. Casual representation which extends to Ellie’s identity as Lipan Apache. This identity is asserted more often and firmly than her asexuality, and Little Badger drops in nuggets of education for us settlers about what Indigenous people, and the Lipan Apache in particular, suffered at the hands of settlers.
23. Loveless by Alice Oseman A queer coming of age story featuring a romance obsessed aromantic asexual main character discovering her sexuality and coming to terms with what that means, and a variety of other queer characters that support her on her journey.
24. Aces Wild A Heist by Amanda DeWitt An all-asexual online friend group attempts to break into a high-stakes gambling club and commit a heist together. Includes a male asexual character navigating what love looks like for him, an aromantic asexual Latinx gender-nonconforming boy, a Vietnamese American and German asexual nonbinary teen, and a black asexual girl. This cast represents a range of ace and aro identities.
25. Tarnished Are the Stars by Rosiee Thor A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws. Determined to earn his father's respect, Nathaniel sets out to capture the Technician. But the more he learns about the outlaw, the more he questions whether his father's elusive affection is worth chasing at all. This YA novel features an aroace character gradually coming to accept his orientation in the midst of everything else that is happening in his life. Perfect for older teens who also enjoy WLW representation and dark themes.
26. Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno While anyone would love to have a bit of magic, what happens when magic turns dark? Georgina Fernweh will come into her magic someday soon. Before she does, Georgina faces a tragedy that tests the islanders' trust. In this book, Georgina’s best friend Vira is aroace, and it’s addressed somewhat in the story at different points. There is a sweet strength between Georgina and Vira, full of loyalty and support that is lovely to see.
27. Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie Aisha Un-Haad, seventeen, and Key Tanaka, eighteen, have risked everything for new lives as mechanically enhanced soldiers, and when an insurrection forces dark secrets to surface, the fate of humanity is in their hands. In Hullmetal Girls, Aisha is not only ace/aro but she is also happy with her identity. Crucially, so is everyone else.
28. The Trouble by Daria Defore Danny Kim is a college student and the frontman of a Seattle based indie band. He also happens to be aromantic, and completely matter of fact about that aspect of his personality; The Trouble is not a coming out book, which is refreshing. (source)
29. A Promise Broken by Lynn E. O'Connacht/S.L. Dover Cooper Four-year-old Eiryn tries to grieve her mother while her uncle and caretaker, Arèn, fights accusations of her upsetting the world’s balance with a song. Arèn, aromantic and asexual.
30. Birthday Landscapes by E. H. Timms in Queerly Loving Anthology A disabled and aromantic warrior-mage and legend returns home on leave in time to celebrate his twin children’s birthday with his family.
31. Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver The city of Parole is burning. Like Venice slips into the sea, Parole crumbles into fire. The entire population inside has been quarantined and left to die - directly over the open flame. Eye in the Sky, a deadly and merciless police force ensures no one escapes. Ever. All that's keeping Parole alive is faith in the midst of horrors and death, trust in the face of desperation... and their fantastic, terrifying, and beautiful superhuman abilities. Multiple AroAce characters.
32. Sea Foam and Silence by S.L. Dove Cooper Maris has only a month before she turns into sea foam, and she has no voice to help her. Love comes in many form, however, and she is no closer to understanding which will earn her life among friends and family on land. Aro and demi-aro characters.
33. A Harmony of Water and Weald: a Sea Foam and Silence collection by S.L. Dove Cooper A Harmony of Water and Weald is a collection exploring some of Maris's darker moments as she learns what it means to be human and a glimpse at what her life and family is like after the Sea Witch's deadline has passed.
34. Two Dark Moons by Avi Silver Sohmeng Par is sick of being treated like a child. Ever since a tragic accident brought her mountain community’s coming-of-age ritual to a halt, she’s caused nothing but trouble in her impatience to become an adult. But when she finally has the chance to prove herself, she’s thrown from her life in the mountains and into the terror of the jungle below. Aromantic and nonbinary rep are woven through the world and characters seamlessly.
35. We Go Forward by Alison Evans Two sad queer girls roadtrip around Europe (Germany, Austria and a little of Prague) while developing a deep and supportive friendship.
36. A Word and A Bullet by Rachel Sharp When the real apocalypse hits, three zombie-LARPs friends discover their skills may not be enough to get them through the road trip to safer communities in Canada. Asexual, aromantic, and touch-averse major character.
37. Beyond the Black Door by A.M. Strickland Kamai was warned never to open the black door, but she didn't listen. Everyone has a soul. Some are beautiful gardens, others are frightening dungeons. Soulwalkers―like Kamai and her mother―can journey into other people's souls while they sleep. But no matter where Kamai visits, she sees the black door. Demi-romantic main character.
38. Lemon & Salt by Claudie Arseneault Two aromantic singers renegotiate their queerplatonic partnership within through a one-of-a-kind concert. Puns included!
39. Warrior Anthology by E. H. Timms
Twelve writers. Twelve worlds. Twelve warriors. Multiple AroAce character.
40. Nkásht íí by Darcie Little Badger A short story featuring two friends and a paranormal murder mystery. AroAce main character.
41. Haunted Hearts by Amelia Faulkner When Basil and Jon meet over a rumored haunting, they agree to work together. But when the ghost proves itself not only real but also insanely homicidal, Basil and Jon are caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse, and whatever feelings they might have for one-another have to take a back seat to a desperate fight for their very survival. Queerplatonic, arodemi character.
42. No More Heroes by Michelle Kan The peaceful nights are kept under the clandestine and watchful eye of young, gifted Vigilantes the world over. But a sudden rash of Vigilante deaths heralds the arrival of a new and unfamiliar enemy – one whose motive is as unclear as their identity. Ace and greyromantic.
43. Second Chance by Chelsea M. Cameron When Serena Nolan decides to spend the summer at her cousin’s house and queer café, she doesn’t expect to run into her ex, Fiona … or to discover she’s still very much in love. Demi-ace, demi-aro.
44. The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath It's Norway 1904, and Asta Hedstrom doesn't want to marry her odious betrothed, Nils—even though a domestic future is all her mother believes she's suited for, on account of her single-sided deafness, unconventional appearance, and even stranger notions. Asta would rather spend her life performing in the village theater with her friends and fellow outcasts: her best friend Gunnar Fuglestad and his secret boyfriend, wealthy Erlend Fournier. AceAro.
45. The Last Chronomancer by Reilyn J. Hardy Haunted by the curse that follows his bloodline, it soon becomes apparent to Mae that no matter what you do or how far you run, your past will always catch up to you. The tale of two, cursed for destruction.
One with the strength to kill and the other, the courage to resist. AroAce.
46. Unburied Fables by Rachel Sharp This collection enlisted talent around the world. From students to seasoned professionals, these writers came together to raise awareness and reinvent classic stories. While they showcase a wide variety of origins, styles, and endings, all the tales in this anthology have one classic element in common: a happily ever after. AroAce main character (Match Girl).
47. Any Way the Wind Blows by Carlin Grant Callie lives on the road, trading labor for food and lodging through a farm work-exchange program. She's perfectly content with the life she's created, but it is shaken up when she meets Jo, a mechanic and sister of Callie's latest boss. For the first time, Callie begins reconsidering the choices she's made. But Jo's life is far more complicated than her own and as family tensions rise, they threaten to pull Callie in, and her growing bond with Jo might not be reason enough to stay.
48. epicene: a short story by Ulysses Constance Bougie "Charlie never said a word during English, but they had plenty." An hour in the life of Charlie, a high school student with social anxiety. Over the course of a class period, Charlie considers their anxiety, their desire to express the things they feel, and their very aromantic crush on the beautiful Q.
49. A Murder's Hunt by Danica Taylor Othloh is a city run by criminals. It’s in constant chaos, and no one comes out unscathed. The only law they have is Occisor, a small mercenary group that keeps the fragile peace between the rivaling gangs intact. But when Kestrel Fulani, the newest of the four Crime Lords, begins causing too much trouble, Occisor is hired to remove him from the playing field. Aro heterosexual main character.
50. Loose in the Heel, Tight in the Toe by Valentine Wheeler Prince Heinrich doesn’t want a wife, but as the only heir to the throne he knows he'll need to marry–even though he has no interest in romance or sex. When a mysterious woman at the ball in his honor is completely unimpressed by him, he’s intrigued. Could she be the partner he’s been looking for? And when catastrophe strikes both their families, how can their arrangement hold together? Cinderella retelling.
51. Skybound series by Alex London The people of Uztar have long looked to the sky with hope and wonder. Nothing in their world is more revered than the birds of prey and no one more honored than the falconers who call them to their fists. Brysen strives to be a great falconer--while his twin sister, Kylee, rejects her ancient gifts for the sport and wishes to be free of falconry. She's nearly made it out, too, but a war is rolling toward their home in the Six Villages, and no bird or falconer will be safe.
52. Tower In The Crooked Wood: A Novel Paula Johanson A woman walks across the continent to track down a sorcerer who nightly enslaves random victims, magically transporting them to various work camps to help build his sorcerer's tower. Whenever Jenia, our heroine, is taken, she finds small ways to attempt to sabotage the sorcerer's efforts. In between magical abductions, she walks on, encountering communities so isolated and self-contained that they appear blissfully unaware of the sorcerer setting up shop in the neighbouring wood.
53. This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria Orphaned and forced to serve her country’s ruling group of scribes, Karis wants nothing more than to find her brother, long ago shipped away. But family bonds don’t matter to the Scriptorium, whose sole focus is unlocking the magic of an ancient automaton army. In her search for her brother, Karis does the seemingly impossible—she awakens a hidden automaton. Intelligent, with a conscience of his own, Alix has no idea why he was made. Or why his father—their nation’s greatest traitor—once tried to destroy the automatons. Suddenly, the Scriptorium isn’t just trying to control Karis; it’s hunting her. Together with Alix, Karis must find her brother…and the secret that’s held her country in its power for centuries.
Graphic Novels
54. A-Okay by Jarad Greene Eight grade can be tough, especially if you have acne and bullies, and lose friends. But our relatable asexual and aromantic protagonist, Jay, pulls through. This is a relatable memoir with colorful artwork.
55. Jughead, Volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky A comic book reboot of the Archie comics centered around Jughead Jones. Follows an aromantic asexual main character in typical Archie-style shenanigans. Part 1 of a 3 part series.
56. Is Love the Answer? by Uta Isaki A poignant coming-of-age story about a young woman coming into her own as she discovers her identity as aromantic asexual. A complete story in a single volume, from the creator of "Mine-kun is Asexual." When it comes to love, high schooler Chika wonders if she might be an alien. She’s never fallen for or even had a crush on anyone, and she has no desire for physical intimacy. Her friends tell her that she just "hasn't met the one yet," but Chika has doubts... It's only when Chika enters college and meets peers like herself that she realizes there’s a word for what she feels inside.
57. I Want to be a Wall, by Honami Shirono Any love story aficionado will say that the key to a successful couple is intense desire for one another—but what if the characters in question are an asexual woman with a passion for Boys Love stories and a gay man whose heart forever belongs to his oblivious childhood friend? Although romance will never be in the cards for newlyweds Yuriko and Gakurouta, the bond blossoming between them promises to be a wonderful relationship—the likes of which neither has ever experienced before…
General Adult Fiction
58. Common Bonds A Speculative Aromantic Anthology by Claudie Areseneault Common Bonds is an anthology of speculative short stories and poetry featuring aromantic characters. At the heart of this collection are the bonds that impact our lives from beginning to end: platonic relationships. Within this anthology, a cursed seamstress finds comfort in the presence of a witch, teams of demon hunters work with their rival to save one of their own, a peculiar scholar gets attached to those he was meant to study, and queerplatonic shopkeepers guide their pupil as they explore their relationship needs and desires.
59. Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata Convenience Store Keiko Furukura. Keiko has never fit in, neither in her family, nor in school, but when at the age of eighteen she begins working at the Hiiromachi branch of "Smile Mart," she finds peace and purpose in her life. Keiko is very happy, but the people close to her, from her family to her coworkers, increasingly pressure her to find a husband, and to start a proper career, prompting her to take desperate action... Aromantic, possibly asexual and autistic.
60. Have You Seen Luis Velez? by Catherine Ryan Hyde Raymond Jaffe feels like he doesn't belong. Not with his mother's new family. Not as a weekend guest with his father and his father's wife. Not at school, where he's an outcast. After his best friend moves away, Raymond has only two real connections: to the feral cat he's tamed and to a blind ninety-two-year-old woman in his building who's introduced herself with a curious question: Have you seen Luis Velez? Mildred Gutermann, a German Jew who narrowly escaped the Holocaust, has been alone since her caretaker disappeared. She turns to Raymond for help, and as he tries to track Luis down, a deep and unexpected friendship blossoms between the two. Raymond is aroace. And he is depicted as kind, loving, sensitive and realistic.
61. Stake Sauce, Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient Is Love. No, Really by RoAnna Sylver In which: A cute punk-rock vampire and a disabled firefighter-turned-mall-cop with a dark past join forces to battle the forces of evil–vampires that hunt the streets of Portland. Jude, the protagonist, is gay and grey-aro-ace, trans, has PTSD and wears a prothesis, Eva is aro-ace as well, Jasper has migraines, Pixie is chubby, and while we don't know the identities of all the other characters, all of them are queer (or seem to be) and there's a poly relationship in the works.
62. Walking the Wall of Papered Peaces by Penny Stirling in Capricious: The Gender Diverse Pronouns Issue A asexual clockmaker pursues her non-binary plumber fiancé on a quest along a magical wall of origami animals to work out communication issues in their relationship. Ace and demiromantic.
63. The Melankholia Series by A.N. Mouse and Ace Layton Explore the dreamy, decaying world of the Endless City, where human dreams lend strength to the hunters's unique powers, and where human nightmares spawn into terrifying monsters with no warning. Follow the nightmare hunters, ravens, runners and regents of the shadowy underworld as they fight monsters, fate, and each other.
64. Ice Castle: A Queerplatonic Love Story by Katie Fouks Shoveling dirt over slippery patches while dressed as a Christmas fairy isn’t the most glamorous job in the world, but Rachel Forrest doesn’t mind spending another holiday season as “dirt girl” at the Ice Castle ice maze if it means she gets paid. She never expected one such patch of ice to lead her to Cassie Harlan. Cassie is cute and funny and shares Rachel’s aromantic asexual identity. Rachel finds herself drawn to Cassie in a way she’s never experienced, and as her feelings grow, she questions what exactly they are. Does Rachel want to be her friend? Or something else? She’ll have to learn to trust Cassie and herself in order to figure it all out before they lose their chance at anything.
65. Play It Again by Aidan Wayne When Seattle-based blind YouTuber Dovid Rosenstein finds Sam Doyle's Let's Play channel, playitagainsam, he's instantly captivated by the Irish gamer. Everything about Sam is adorable, from his accent to his personality, and Dovid can't get enough of his content. Dovid's glowing shout-out on Don't Look Now, his own successful channel, sends Sam's subscriber numbers skyrocketing overnight. He has more comments than he can read. And while the sudden surge in popularity is anxiety inducing, Sam decides it's only right to dedicate his next episode to Dovid...which soon leads to a heart-pounding exchange of DMs. Aro Ace Jewish side character.
Fantasy
66. Baker Thief by Claudie Arseneault When her twin—a powerful witch and prime exocore material—disappears, Claire redoubles in her efforts to investigate. She keeps running into Adèle, however, and whether or not she can save her sister might depend on their conflicted, unstable, but deepening relationship. Baker Thief is the first in a fantasy series meant to reframe romance tropes within non-romantic relationship and centering aromantic characters. Those who love enemies-to-lovers and superheroes should enjoy the story!
67. The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction--but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic. Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel. Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep. Aromantic main character.
68. The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia Based on Persian mythology, this is a stunning story of a nonbinary blood magic user who is kept on the outskirts of society. Firuz finds themself a refugee, and gets a job working at a free clinic using their power for good. While working they discover a new disease that threatens to spread across the empire if it isn’t stopped soon. Now Firuz must convince the world to trust the very people they shun to stop the disease and save the world. From the author: it's about an aroace nonbinary refugee healer who is trying to cure a magical plague in their new home while hiding their blood magic.
69. City of Strife by Claudie Arseneault City of Strife is the first installment of the City of Spires series, a multi-layered political fantasy led by an all-queer cast. Fans of complex storylines criss-crossing one another, elves and magic, and strong friendships and found families will find everything they need within these pages. This series has many AroAce characters.
70. The Ice Princess's Fair Illusion by S.L. Dove Cooper To ensure she will never be forced into marriage, Marian pushes back suitors with cold cruelty–under the day her father promises to marry her to the first beggar to come. Edel, who knows well the weight of society’s expectations, ensures she gets the hand, and they must learn to trust and respect each other to survive. AroAce main character.
71. The Necromancer in: Myriad Lands: Volume 2: Beyond the Edge by David R. Stokes A necromancer raises his fellow magician and best friend, a trans man, to give him a second chance at life without the interruptions of dysphoria. AroAce main character.
72. The Faerie Godmother's Apprentice Wore Green by Nicky Kyle The village of Styesville has a dragon problem, but when Dea — a faerie godmother’s apprentice — comes to investigate, she discovers the problem runs much deeper than a simple creature. AroAce main character.
73. Holding Onto Day by E.H. Timms Half a lifetime after the Split, when a world of myth and legend took over the night, grieving aro-ace widower Cal winds up snowed in at a waystation with post-breakup aro-allo Evvi. Proximity and patience draw them closer, both in the day when they are human, and at night, when they become vampire and werewolf.
74. Create My Own Perfection E.H. Timms Emma Stone, medusa, is the groundskeeper for Olson College of Extensive Education, a place where everyone is welcome, from the mythical to the magical. When her selkie best friend loses her skin in Fresher's week, the race is on to find it before someone uses it against her. The search brings Emma face to face with her oldest enemy - and forces her to confront the worst nightmares of her past.
75. Mahou Shonen: Just Say No by Nico H In a world where becoming a "magica" is a phenomenon known to and highly frowned upon by the public, a middle school teacher leading a normal life finds himself involved with Horace Giorno, a young man known as the Prince of Magical Boys, and the brutal, murderous magical girl Pretty Fighter Ribbon Red.
76. Come Drink With Me by Michelle Kan A Dragon, a Phoenix, and an Opera House. Bonds that transcend time, loyalties that defy hardship, and the magic of the places we call Home. (Wherein a Dragon and a Phoenix make their living on earth in an Opera House.)
An Aromantic Chinese Fairytale.
77. The Caelish Order Series by A.J. Barber Ever since her brother murdered four of his closest friends, Alicia Omura has been trying to start over. She changed her name, got a new job, did everything she could to make sure no one ever pegged her as Devon Blaine's sister. Now she's a Hunter for the Caelish Order, protecting Seattle from rogue summoners like her brother, and from their Elaiyu servants. But when Devon himself turns up in the middle of her first big case, he turns everything she thought she knew on its head. His story is outlandish--traitors within the Order, corruption at the highest levels. If he's telling the truth, Alicia has more to worry about than rookie jitters and an inconvenient crush on her partner, Jordan Morrow. AroAce male main character.
Science Fiction
78. Rainbow Lights by Polenth Blake A deep-sea robot tells stories in every colour, but no shade can describe meeting a giant squid. Rainbow Lights is the first collection by science fiction and fantasy author Polenth Blake. Alien scorpions, vampire ice cream sellers and clockwork flies, try to find their place in worlds where being human is optional. AceAro main character.
79. Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace Mal is one of many war survivors in the old town working multiple jobs to scrimp by, one of which is her team's streaming video game play. The team lives with several other roommates in a converted hotel room run by Stellaxis, the company that owns half of town, and is the only legal provider of drinkable water. When Mal catches sight of an elusive SecOps character, special non-player characters (NPCs) modeled after Stellaxis' twelve bioengineered operatives, the team pursues her inside the game to catch her on video for two seconds before their power curfew kicks in. By the time Mal heads down for her daily ration of water, they've secured a lucrative contract, involving an in-person meeting and a conspiracy theory, paying them to capture images of the three living SecOps characters. When Mal returns to find out why the next payment failed, she becomes involved in a fracas that will endanger everyone she knows. Aroace main character.
80. Werecockroach by Polenth Blake As aliens hover above London, three flatmates scuttle across the city to escape. They have more in common with coackroaches than hoarding cardboard and hissing at people, however. The narrator is agender, aromantic, and asexual. Science Fantasy.
81. Faction Paradox: Liberating Earth by Kate Orman and E.H. Timms Just what would happen if a couple of Cousins used our planet as their personal game board? As they create one alternative reality after another, twisting history and reality into knots, only one outcome is sure: whoever wins, the human race loses. AroAce.
82. The Changing of Allison Dutch by Michón Neal This is the first in a trilogy of Allison Dutch's life on earth. Follow along as she comes to terms with vampirism, sexuality, and the outer limits of reality. This book incorporates the realism of human growth and human potential while set in a highly unusual background of sci-fi, fantasy, and sheer horror. What does it take for a person to want to conquer the world? Find out in this coming-of-age story about a girl caught in the intersections of time, reality, sanity, normality. Aro Pansexual.
83. The Dreamhealers Princes Series by M.C.A Hogarth Seersana University is worlds-renowned for its xenopsychology program, producing the Alliance's finest therapists, psychiatric nurses and alien researchers. When Jahir, one of the rare and reclusive Eldritch espers, arrives on campus, he's unprepared for the challenges of a vast and multicultural society... but fortunately, second-year student Vasiht'h is willing to take him under his wing.
84. Novis by Rachel Tonks Hill Novis Colony has a reputation for being cursed. *Something* is killing the colonists, and every single mercenary team that has been sent to protect them. Ros Lamarr is the best mercenary captain in the Commonwealth and even she thinks twice about taking the job. But she's sick of low paid jobs and bored of sitting in a station bar pickling her liver and getting into fights. Breaking the curse on Novis Colony is going to ask more of Ros than any other job she's ever done but if she can do it the rewards will be bigger than even she can imagine. But she can't do it alone. Aro characters. Queerplatonic relationships.
85. Retaking Elysium: a Mars Consortium story by M. Darusha Wehm The woman now calling herself Lisa Marie has spent her whole life trapped by the struggle to make ends meet, and sometimes held hostage by her own memories. On Mars she might finally find financial security, but will she also find something to care about today, and maybe even for the future?
Historical Fiction
86. Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel The only daughter of the kingdom of Kekaya, she is raised on grand stories about the might and benevolence of the gods. Yet she watches as her father unceremoniously banishes her mother, her own worth measured by how great a marriage alliance she can secure. And when she calls upon the gods for help, they never seem to hear. Desperate for some measure of independence, she turns to the ancient texts she once read with her mother and discovers a magic that is hers alone. Kaikeyi is asexual and aromantic. Although the words "asexual" and "aromantic" aren't used in the book.
87. Daughters of Britain by S.M. Carrière 68 ad. The Roman Empire has swallowed most of Europe. There are pockets of resistance...
but nowhere, no one, is safe. Mederei, eldest daughter of the fallen war-queen Boudicca, fled north with her sister to continue the fight for British freedom. But nowhere is safe from Rome. Now she must fight for her life for the amusement of her enemy. Adalbern, a proud Batavian, serving in the Roman auxiliary, lived by their rules. But no one is safe from Rome.His people scattered and his nephew held hostage in Rome itself, he is now nothing more than a glorified prisoner. It's life or death both in the arena and out for Mederei and Adalbern as they try to survive and save their people. Aro Ace side character.
Romance
88. The Midnight Bargain by C. L. Polk Beatrice Clayborn is a sorceress who practices magic in secret, terrified of the day she will be locked into a marital collar that will cut off her powers to protect her unborn children. She dreams of becoming a full-fledged Magus and pursuing magic as her calling as men do, but her family has staked everything to equip her for Bargaining Season, when young men and women of means descend upon the city to negotiate the best marriages. The Clayborns are in severe debt, and only she can save them. AroAce coded character.
89. Syncopation by Anna Zabo After a viral confrontation with one of his bandmate, Ray and his fledgling band are in a tight spot, and in need of a new drummer. Enter Zavier Demos–insufferable, sexy, talented… and Ray’s high school crush. Pansexual aromantic character.
90. Dithered Hearts by Verity Chase A gender-confused farmer desperate to reclaim her farm and escape her stepparents’ abuse. A closeted prince more interested in helping his people than finding a bride. A fairy godfather with a ton of secrets and no powers. In this diverse fairy tale, everyone is searching for a happy ending. Aro pansexual character.
Psychological Fiction
91. The Bone People by Keri Hulme Our main character Kerewin Holmes is a mixed race (Maori and White European), asexual and aromantic woman who lives in solitude in New Zealand. She meets Simon, a young boy recently rescued from a shipwreck by his Maori foster father, Joe, and the three quickly come to find comfort and support in one another. (source).
Horror
92. Cold Ennaline by RJ Astruc Ennaline Whitehall has always been faithful. The god’s love is all encompassing, after all. Besides, she hardly had a choice growing up in the church alongside Ro and Ray, the twin sons of Father Piedmont. Now the twins are talking about marriage—all three are reaching the age for betrothal—but Ennaline doesn't feel that way about the boys. She doesn't feel that way about anyone, and who knows what the other faithful will do if they learn of her peculiar coldness? AroAce.
Speculative Fiction
93. Margins and Murmurations Trilogy Otter Lieffe An aromantic trans woman with the ability to move through time return to a highly-militarized city with her lifelong friend, Pinar, to help queer activists, sex workers, and other organizers of the underclass rebel.
94. Power to Yield and Other Stories by Bogi Takács Power to Yield is a collection of speculative tales exploring gender identity, neurodivergence, and religion from author Bogi Takács, who deftly blends sci-fi, fantasy, and weird fiction. ​These are stories about the depth and breadth of the human condition—and beyond—identifying future possibilities of conflict and cooperation, identity and community.
Mystery
95. Same River Twice by Janet Poland When reclusive reporter Miren Lassiter inherits her scientist uncle's riverside cottage, her carefully guarded world is upended. She discovers the body of a local historian hanging from antique gallows in a museum, and soon becomes a suspect in his murder. Mysterious intruders break into her home. When she catches one of them in the act, he is the last person on earth she expects to see. As Miren struggles to get answers from scientists, history buffs, and nosy neighbors, she must face the reasons behind her fear of intimacy and commitment and reach out to others to identify a murderer...before she becomes the next victim. Aro-heterosexual main character.
96. The Courtyard Clairvoyant Mysteries by J.J. Brass Ace Aunt Elise lives in a cozy small-town courtyard with her twenty-something niece Val, a polyamorous pansexual who is currently recovering from an untimely stroke. When Val’s wheelchair is stolen, Elise realizes she’s in a unique position to investigate which of their neighbours played a hand in the theft.
Nonfiction
97. Aro Eros Arrows by Michón Neal This is a fantastic indie book that explores aromanticisim in the context of friendship and polyamory. Aromantic doesn’t mean that there is no love in your life, just that love looks different. Michón Neal also explores aromantic identities in a Black and queer context. A truly empowering and impactful book that breaks down the aromantic identity in such a clear and insightful way. (source)
98. Ace Voices: What It Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-ace by Eris Young How do we experience attraction? What does love mean to us? When did you realise you were ace? This is the ace community in their own words.
99. Ace and Aro Journeys A Guide to Embracing your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by Various Authors What does it mean to be ace or aro? How should I approach the challenges that come with being ace or aro? How can I best support the ace and aro people in my life? Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials -- this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum. You are not invisible! You are among friends.
100. Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen Angela Chen does a remarkable job exploring asexuality and aromanticism in a modern context. She relates the identity back to how queerness is represented or underrepresented in popular media. By looking at these identities in a large context, we get to learn a lot more about how amazing these identities actually are. An asexual person herself, Angela Chen has such a fantastic narrative voice that keeps the reader engaged.
101. The Invisible Orientation An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker The perfect book for those struggling with their identity, and for people whose loved ones are asexual or aromantic. It goes into how these identities are treated and are largely ignored. It does a great job of analyzing all this data, as well as pointing out how reception of this identity is changing to being not so invisible anymore. A much more academic text than others in this list, it’s still an easy enough read that you shouldn’t be intimated by the academic language. It’s very much an accessible read.
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I have not read all this books, but I did my best to ensure the representation of the chracters when I was looking for books for this list. I did my best for genres, but sometimes it was hard to know.
I hope you enjoy this list! Isn't it amazing how many aro books there are out there?!
People who requested being tagged: @snailoutofwhack
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stae-yong · 4 years ago
Text
a dream in a bottle [j.jh]
genre: fluff, romance, fantasy word count: 11.4k
Year 2059.
Everyone has lost their minds finding solace in a world full of chaos. Dreams in a bottle are now being used like a drug in order to fulfill their wildest fantasies. Have you ever dreamt so good, you never wanted to wake up?
“You’re the dream I go to, every time I close my eyes.”
a/n: this is my first jaehyun fic, and the first fic i’ve written :> please understand if i’ve made any errors. i wanted to write this since i started stanning nct and i hope you guys enjoy!! oh and listen to this, it inspired me to write this story. hopefully it could set the mood as well.
“Happy birthday to me,” y/n said dully as she blew her candle. The smoke from her two and three candles went to her eyes which made her squint. For the past week, all she ever did was cry herself to sleep thinking how miserable she would spend her birthday this week ever since her boyfriend left her for ‘his future’ which she snorted at as she remembered how his arms were wrapped around her waist as he kissed this new girl and who just enrolled in his arts class.
She then started to arrange her gifts which mostly consisted of plain old birthday cards which her so called friends just gave to her at the last minute since her existence was forgotten due to the busy days of work. As she went through her gifts, she noticed another postcard from her parents that are probably touring around Europe. She scrunched her nose in disappointment, “What a good way to start my 23rd year of living on this planet,” she muttered. Y/N stood up pushing around all the teared pieces of gift wrap as she tried to navigate herself around the living room. As she moved, she accidentally kicked a box tas was buried under piles of garbage.
A white box with pink hearts decorated around it. On the side of a box, a sticky note was attached with a letter with handwriting that was too familiar.
Dear y/n
Happy Birthday! I’m sorry we can’t spend it together this year, you know how hard life is. But I do hope you enjoy the following days with my gift. I gave this to you to spice up your birthday. It’s definitely one of a kind, I hope you could forget your dickhead of a boyfriend with this. Call me once you try it ;)
Love,
Mei.
“If this is a box of lingerie or condoms, Mei can rot in hell,” Y/N grumbled. This definitely should be worth it. She peeled the sticky note, as a remembrance of the gift as she carefully opened the box. Inside were three small bottles of iridescent liquid that seemed like it had been mixed by a 10 year old playing with glitters and water. A small card was placed above the bottles with a note saying “The best dreams happen when you are wide awake,” with several instructions to only drink one bottle every night for good results. Y/N contemplated if she should drink from it now considering that its nearly 10pm. She spent her whole day moping around her room munching on junk food while thinking about how lonely and boring her life was. Maybe this potion is worth the try, and maybe, like what Mei said, it could spice up her life.
She took the bottle in her hands shaking it a bit as she watched the small pieces of glitter swirl around as if it was luring her to drink it. At first she tasted like vanilla, smooth and milky then suddenly it turned to taste like strawberry mixed with different other fruits. Soon after, Y/N fell on her bed as she drifted off.
————
Y/N felt as if she was thrown into a whirlpool as her head continued to spin. Bright light hit her face making her squint as she tried to slowly adjust to what she was seeing. Suddenly, people started to bump her as they made their way around the city. Y/N tried to make sense of where she was, it was a city that looked like it existed way back in the 1900s with the way people dressed. Women and men of all ages walked around the street as they clung unto their loved ones. Women were dressed in puffed blouses and below the knee skirts as they topped it with a trench coat to warm them from the cold. Men, on the other hand, were wearing top hand sand white button up with suspenders that were too old-fashioned for her liking as they paired it with trousers. As Y/N continued to make sense of what was happening, she passed by a shop where she saw her reflection, she was wearing the same thing everyone was wearing.
Great, how on Earth am I supposed to figure out what to do in this dream.
As she walked around, she noticed a long queue that led to a movie theater. Everyone seemed excited to watch this new ‘musical’ that only happens once every year and that is during the 23rd of Christmas, ‘The Impossible Dream’ was its title. She noticed that every poster posted on the streets had the same title written in cursive with a time, date, and location set. As she adjusted her coat that was wrapped around her, she noticed a ticket on her right pocket.  “The Impossible Dream, 6pm,” she muttered. “I drink a stupid bottle of dream and now I have to watch a boring musical,” she added as she pouted remembering to message Mei that she won’t be drinking anymore of her gift. Her eyes wandered from the people around her to the buildings, she knew no one in this dream and the faces she see are not even close to familiar. The place itself looks like a 90s movie setting with all the broadway and lampposts hanging around.
“Excuse me, this is the end of the line, right?” Y/N turned to look around at a man around her age with caramel brown hair and smiling as his dimples poked out. She stared at him longer as she admired his features, okay, this is definitely a dream because no one else in the real world would look as good as this fine man standing behind her. “U-um, yeah,” she cleared her throat as she gave tight smile embarrassed as she was caught staring.
“Come on, you gonna pretend like you don’t know me now?” He said as he pouted. Y/N looked at him confused, never in her life did she encounter him, maybe this is a preset of the dream but she decided to play dumb instead. “Hmmm, I don’t think I remember,” she said as she tried to think of a name that matches his face.
“It’s Jaehyun,” he said as he poked her cheek with his index finger as he shook his head disappointingly. “Are you my boyfriend?” Y/N blurted out as she felt her cheeks heat up at her sudden question. Jaehyun felt flustered as his ears turned red. “Um, well, I don’t know,” he said nervously chuckling. Y/N nodded as she turned to the front once again, boyfriend or not it doesn’t matter but for sure the handsome guy standing behind her played an important role in her dream. She tried to remember if she knew any Jaehyun in the real world but no one came close. Heck, no one even looks like him. Was she really that desperate on moving on, she literally dreamed of having a boyfriend way better than her ex? Okay, maybe.
The line started moving as people made their way towards the entrance of the theater. “I didn’t know you were interested in watching musicals,” Jaehyun said as he stood beside her as they both made their way in.
“Well, maybe you don’t know a lot about me then,” she shrugged as she gave him a teasing smile. “We’ve known each other for four years and you forget my name?” He teased back as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder to move her from the people that were constantly passing by to get to their seats. Y/N felt her heartbeat speed up at the intimacy feeling his chest pressed against her shoulder as she muttered apologies to those passing by.
“Watch where you’re going,” he muttered under his breath as he looked at her. Y/N blushed as she looked up to him. The lighting in the room giving his visuals more justice as it surrounded her head making him look like he has a built in halo.
As she made her way to her seat, Jaehyun followed closely behind as they both sat together. The play started as the lights dim but Y/N couldn’t care less about what was happening in the play as she felt bothered by Jaehyun’s presence. How did he have this effect on her when he doesn’t even exist? It was also their first time meeting. She slowly shifted on her seat to face Jaehyun in a discreet way as she tried to steal a glance at him. Jaehyun noticed her shifting taking it as a sign of uncomfortableness, placing a hand gently on the area above her knee squeezing it lightly and giving her a look of concern.
Y/N froze in her seat as she looked back at Jaehyun who was staring at her worriedly, eyebrows furrowed. She looked away quickly as she cleared her throat, nudging Jaehyun’s hand away by accident as she shifted to face forward. Jaehyun chuckled as he continued to watch the musical smiling to himself. “What’s so funny?” Y/N said as she crossed her arms trying to concentrate on the show but finding it difficult with Jaehyun seated right beside her. “You should take a picture, it would last longer,” he whispered in her ear as she felt his warm breath brush against her cheeks making it heat up. Thankfully, the lights were dim and Jaehyun wouldn’t be able to see how red her cheeks were from the constant display of affection he was showing to her. She wasn’t staring, she was just trying to capture his face on her mind so that when she wakes up from this dream she could finally move on from her ex.
“I still haven’t forgiven you for what you’ve done,” Jaehyun whispers again, Y/N looks at him in confusion to see him leaning slightly to her side with eyes still focused on the show. “What have I done?” She said raising a brow. She has only been inside her dream for 20min, she barely got to do anything except stare at the piece of art seated right beside her.
Jaehyun looked at her in disbelief as he flicked her forehead earning a smack on the shoulder. “You left me in the rain, I told you to call me but you didn’t,” he said as he looked at her again. Y/N frowned, not really knowing what to say. “Sorry, I was busy,” At this point, making up stories would only be the solution to questions as it was only a dream that she may forget when she wakes up. Jaehyun continues to stare at her with an unreadable expression. He nods anyway and she gives him a small smile.
“Are you really watching this?” Y/N asks bored out of her mind as the main lead in the musical continues to cry as she longs for her love one who she only meets inside her dream.
“No, I’m just here because I like sitting beside you,” Jaehyun replies shooting her a smile, his dimples making an appearance as they always seem present when she looks at him. She scrunched her nose in disapproval, definitely too good to be true. Prince Charming likes her in her dream, her love life must definitely be fucked up for her to be dreaming about these things.
“We can get out of here if you’re bored,” Jaehyun shrugs as he took her hand gently. He jutted his chin toward the exit raising a brow, “Okay fine, but I’m not spending any money,” she muttered making Jaehyun laugh as he pulled her from her seat. She didn’t even know how she would able to live in this dream.
As they walked around the streets, Y/N tried to ask more about herself so that she wouldn’t have to lie all the time she entered this dream. Never in her life did she experience a dream so realistic, lately, she had troubles sleeping and if she ever got to dream, it would be long forgotten the moment she woke up. A warm hand wrapped around her cold one pulling her out of her thoughts, her gaze shifted from the street to Jaehyun who was grinning at her.
“Do you remember how we met?” She asked as he swayed their hands playfully while walking. “Of course, it was definitely my favorite day,” he chuckled as he recalled how they first met. It was the first day of university and Jaehyun was late. It definitely wasn’t a good first impression to his professors considering how he got into the university because of a basketball scholarship, he used to be a star player back in high school which led him to many offers from big schools that wanted him as the ‘face’ of their team. Although, Jaehyun chose the one closest to his home as he didn’t want to stray farther away from his family, at the same time, his friends attended the same university as him. He tried to discreetly make his way inside the classroom as his professor continued to scribble on the board. Sitting down on the farthest seat as possible, he tried to catch up on the lesson they were having
“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” He heard a small voice say as he shifted his gaze. There she stood in front of him, wearing a yellow dress with her brown hair softly framing her small face accentuating her brown eyes that seem to hold the stars. Jaehyun gulped nervously as he shifted on his seat.
“No, you can sit here whenever you want,” he said a bit too excitedly as he continued to stare at her. The girl gave him a small smile as she sat slid on the seat beside him taking out her notebook and pen.
“I’m Y/N, by the way,” she whispered extending her arm which Jaehyun stared at a bit for too long, “Not that it matte-“ before she could put down her hand Jaehyun grabbed her hand firmly with a smile. “Jaehyun,” he said smiling which made her flustered. “Care to share why you’re late?” He whispered as he tried to start a conversation without getting caught by the professor. He didn’t even understand what was being taught anymore as all his attention was occupied by the girl seated beside him. “The traffic was too bad, why are you late?” She shrugged as she leaned closer to him with a teasing smile. Jaehyun snorted as he slightly bumped his shoulder with hers. They were close already despite the small amount of time they knew each other, “You’re watching me?” He teased as he raised an amused brow at her. Her nose scrunched as she bopped his nose with her pen. “No, I saw you make your way through the door earlier and decided to seat beside you,” she chirped making Jaehyun’s heart flutter. “If I knew better, I would say you stalk me,” he replied trying to brush off the tremble in his voice caused by the amount of flips his heart was making. “Just interested,” she beamed and diverted her attention back to the board. Jaehyun took a glance at her shaking his head at their exchange, silently taking note that he should definitely get her number after this class.
Y/N looked at Jaehyun with an unamused expression as he shrugged, “It’s true though! You tried to hit on me on the first day,” he said earning a punch on the shoulder. “I don’t think that’s how it went though!” She retorted blushing as she didn’t even know if Jaehyun made everything up. It was her first time meeting him, yet in this dream it seems that she’s been in it for years already. She did, however, like how straight forward she was based on Jaehyun’s story, maybe she did like herself better in this dream.
“You asked for my number, so basically, you hit on me,” she stucked her tongue out as she harshly tugged Jaehyun in what she feels like the direction of her house is. Jaehyun pulled her back as they stopped under a lamp post with the light illuminating his face in all the right angles. He leaned close until they were eye-contact level as Y/N tried to keep a blank expression even if her heart was basically going to burst from how close Jaehyun’s face was from hers as she tried to remember all the small details of his face. “You said you were interested first, so I guess I win this argument,” he said smiling at her. Y/N brushed it off as he pushed his face away with her index finger. Jaehyun then wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her closer making her grab his forearms for support at the sudden action. “What are you doing?” She said nervously as he started to sway from side to side as he looked at her making her blush at the sudden attention he was giving her. There was no way he couldn’t see how red she was right now. “Dancing, we used to do this all the time,” he said as he continued to sway to some tune he was humming. “I don’t know how to dance,” she muttered as she looked down trying her hardest not to step on his feet. “It’s fine, I can lead,” he said confidently as he continued to stare down at her making her stare at his chest as she couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Hey Y/N,” he mentions when he noticed how quiet she has gone. “Hmmm?” She replies looking up to him as she stared at the area between his brows, his eyes too much for her to take, afraid that if she looks at him she might as well just kiss him there. “I really like dancing here with you but do you mind?” He says as he looked down. Y/N followed his gaze and saw her shoe lace untied itself probably because she kept stepping on them as they danced.
“Oh, let me-“ as she tried to bend down to tie it, Jaehyun pulled her up lightly by the arm as he kneeled before her making her flustered she looked around for people as he basically looked like he was proposing to her. “I can’t have you fall for anyone else,” he grinned as he tried to stifle a laugh. Y/N huffed as she nudged him strong enough for him to fall backwards catching himself with his arms as he tried to stand up.
She walked quickly as she tried to go to what seemed like her house, with Jaehyun following closely behind her as he jogged trying to keep up with her speed. “You’re welcome,” he winked making her flustered once again as she crossed her arms. “I’m home now, aren’t you going?” She said though she really didn’t want him to go yet. She didn’t even know if that was her house but it seemed like it, somehow it just felt right to be there at that moment. Jaehyun chuckled as he took a step back putting his hands in his pockets.
“I hope you had fun today,” he smiled as he ruffled her hair. Y/N nodded as she entered her ‘house’. “Stay safe, Jaehyun,” she said softly as she took one last look at him. Before she could close the door, she felt Jaehyun stop it.
“Wait, before you go,” he held the door with one hand and the other finding the back of her head as his lips lightly touched her forehead. Y/N felt her heartbeat speed up as she closed her eyes at the feeling of his soft lips on her forehead.
“Meet me in your dreams,” he said as he smiled at her before finally closing the door.
——
Y/N jolted awake as she heaved heavy breaths. She felt as if she ran a marathon with how fast her heart was beating. She was back in her bedroom as she looked around. Nothing seemed to change, except the small box that was on top of her bedside table with now only two bottles of dreams. She sighed as she checked the time, she was out for about twelve hours already, although, in her dream only a small amount of time has passed. As she made her way out her apartment, she received a call from Mei.
“So how was it?” Mei asked enthusiastically as y/n could feel her interest on the other end of the line. Sighing she continued to walk down the streets in boredom, wasting time on finding something that would catch her eye.
“I didn’t know a dream could be realistic,” she muttered back. “And there’s this guy,” she added as she thought of this is really a great time to mention a character from her dream, especially to Mei, she woulld probably think she’s gone crazy. “What guy? Are you seeing someone?” The other responded, desperate to know if her friend has finally moved on. “What? No, I mean yes,” Y/N defended.
“It’s not about my ex, actually, there was someone in my dream.” She said. “I don’t really know if I met him before, but his features are very new to me. And you know what they say, that our minds can’t make up images, and everyone in our dream is someone we have met or saw before,” she added. There was no way she saw Jaehyun, if she did then she would probably remember him judging by how good looking he was. “Really? Well, you probably saw him in streets before,” Mei reasoned as y/n could only nod in response even if Mei couldn’t see her. “Anyway, you should really make that worth it. I heard the manufacturer of the shop closed down,” she mentioned as you made your way into a small coffee shop you saw across the street which seemed quite popular judging by the amount of female customers in there.
“Well, I only have two bottles left. I’ll call you when I finish it. Thanks for the gift by the way,” y/n replied as she ended the call
The cafe she entered was small, yet had a homely feeling to it. There was an amount of middle schoolers who look like they just finished school lining up as they perked their heads towards the counter. Y/N squinted as she saw the cute cashier and barista taking their orders. The cashier with white hair that for some reason seemed to match his big intimidating eyes and sharp nose and jawline. He wasn’t as big as the barista, but his body complimented his features as he smiled towards the group of girls who tried to catch his attention. The barista, on the other hand, was tall and had broad shoulders. His hair was dyed black, but he seemed really friendly despite his strong aura.
When it was her turn to order, she now understood why a lot of women in this city practically visited this shop everyday. From afar, she noticed how good-looking the staff were in the cafe, but now looking at them up close made her throat dry.
“I would like one iced latte,” she said shyly as the cashier smiled at her. She squinted her eyes at his name tag, Taeyong. Cute. “Are you new here?” Taeyong said as he pressed numbers on his screen for her order.
“Umm, I live around here. But it’s my first time in this cafe,” she mentioned as she looked around trying to distract herself from meeting his eyes.
“Cool, may I have your name?” He chirped as he smiled again towards her raising his brow. Y/N furrowed her brows as she stared back at him, “A-are you trying to ask me out?” She stuttered bewildered at the sudden question. Taeyong laughed as the barista behind him accidentally knocked a cup off as he turned around to look at her stifling a laugh as well. “What? Um, you’re cute but I need it for the cup,” he gestured raising a cup in his hand making y/n embarrassed as she heard the girls from behind whisper about how assuming she was.
“Oh, sorry,” she said lowly as she muttered her name quickly and paying as she moved to get her order.
——
Y/N sat on her bed holding the box of two bottles. Taking one, she shook it again as she saw the swirl of iridescent liquid calling her in. The whole time she mentally prepared herself for what was to come. To say she was excited to meet Jaehyun again was an understatement, she wanted to take the bottle again as soon as she stepped home but she remembered that there was only two left.
She took one bottle out deeply breathing in and out as she downed it all feeling the familiar taste touch her lips as she entered her dream once again.
When she woke up again she was in a garden, sitting up right as she felt something on her lap shift. Looking around, she noticed she was still in the same setting as before only, it was day and everything seemed bright as people continued to walk around minding their own business.
“You look beautiful from this angle down here, but I would appreciate it if you would look at me too,” a voice says as she looked down only to see Jaehyun lying down on her lap staring up at her with a small smile on his face. She blushed once again when she saw him, last night she thought he was breathtaking under the lamp post but under the sun he looked so much better with freckles scattered on his cheeks his eyes a lighter shade of brown and his dimples, ever so present, poking out.
“You were saying?” She says as Jaehyun stood up from her lap. “I’m starting to think you don’t pay attention to anything I say,” he complained as he dusted himself. Y/N stared right at him, wondering what they would do next.
“I need you to accompany me. I have this project going on and Johnny’s too busy to go with me,” he said as he took her hand. She wasn’t sure who Johnny was but she assumed he was his friend. Though she didn’t mind what his character would mean in her dream as he hasn’t showed up yet. She noted to herself that later on she would figure out who Johnny was and probably make the most of the second bottle she took. As they neared a building that look somewhat like a huge library, Jaehyun pulled her in a hurry as they made their way through old books.
Y/N groaned as she watched Jaehyun scan through the book once again trying to find the right thing. It was her dream, why is nothing interesting happening. “Jaehyun, what am I to you?” She asked as Jaehyun’s attention quickly went to her. His ears reddened as he rubbed the back of his neck shyly, “You said you weren’t my boyfriend. And you kissed me on my forehead, so who are you?” She asked as she hesitated mentioning that kiss as she felt herself become shy as she remembered how she woke up right after. Jaehyun nervously chuckled, to be honest, he himself did not know what their stand was. All he knew was that he wanted to protect her, and that he wanted to be with her always. It was all he ever knew since he met her, it was as if it was a role given to him by the gods to stand by her side no matter what.
“I’m not sure y/n, what do you want us to be?” He asks unsurely afraid of the rejection he might receive. Silently praying she won’t say ‘friends’. Y/N was taken aback as the question was thrown back at her. She didn’t know what they were supposed to be, nor did she know Jaehyun as much as he claims to know her.
Seeing the hesitation on her face, Jaehyun felt disappointed but decided to brush off the thought. “It’s okay, you don’t have to think about it.” He said as he gave her a pained smile which wasn’t unnoticed by y/n. “I can wait,” he said under his breath as he looked at her. Y/N looked at him in surprise, it was her dream. She could say whatever she wants, “I like you,” she blurted out as she waited for his reaction. Jaehyun’s ears, if possible, became more red as he heard her confession. He tried to stop the smile forming on his lips as he put back the book on the shelf.
“Well, that’s great because,” he said taking a step near her as he held both of her hands in his. “I am absolutely smitten by you,” he added ash he wrapped his arms around her shoulders pulling her into a hug. Y/N smiled as her cheeks hurt. She hugged him back, now this is definitely one of her best dreams ever. “Does that mean we can go on dates now?” She said as she pulled back. If she could live in a dream, then she would want to live in this dream forever.
Jaehyun grinned, “Lucky for you I booked us a date,” he said as he winked.
“Okay, maybe I don’t like you anymore,” y/n said as she made her way out of the library with Jaehyun laughing a bit too loud behind her.
————
As they made their way out of the library, Y/N found her hand once again wrapped around Jaehyun as he intertwined their fingers together. She smiled at Jaehyun’s affection. It was as if his hand automatically finds hers wherever they go.
As you both walked hand in hand, Jaehyun led you to a planetarium. “Have you ever been?” Jaehyun asks as he navigates his way through the streets. Constantly pulling you aside as you try to avoid people walking the opposite direction.
“I’ve never been to one actually,” you say wondering if you’ve ever been to one with your ex. To think of it, you really didn’t have enough time in the real world to explore the city during your past relationship. You were either curled up in your apartment or burrying your head in books. The dates you had previously were just last minute decisions as if he was just forced to take you out because you were together. But this time, with Jaehyun, it seems as if you actually got what you deserve. It may seem cheesy, but your heart fluttered when Jaehyun mentioned that he actually planned this date. It could be a preset in the dream, but that didn’t matter to y/n, all that mattered was that someone took the time to care for her and remind her how special she is. Even if that someone doesn’t really exist, she chose to ignore the thought. If there was a person who would break your heart again, you would be honored to have your heart broken by Jaehyun. And even with a broken heart, you would choose to love Jaehyun with all those little pieces.
“You should see the stars, they shine as bright as you,” Jaehyun added as they made their way through the planetarium. There wasn’t much people walking through, and everyone was speaking in hushed voices. As they walked through the planetarium, they entered a dark room with only the ceiling illuminated by galaxies and small celestial beings. Jaehyun looked at you with a small smile playing on his lips. He was fascinated by the way your eyes seem to shine even in the dark, like your eyes held the most beautiful stars as you admired the projected ceiling of light. Y/N then looked at Jaehyun who was still staring at her in awe. “You should take a picture, it would last longer,” she beamed as he scoffed lightly.
“So you steal lines now?” he said with an amused brow lightly applauding her sarcastically as you shoved him on his shoulder. “What else do I steal?” she said as they made their way around the room. “Probably my heart,” Jaehyun shrugged as he felt his ears turn red. He quickly looked up inspecting the ceiling as Y/N shot him a look of disapproval.
“If I wish on that star,” Y/N said pointing to a projected shooting star, “will my wish count?” you asked as you stared at Jaehyun whose eyes are still trained towards the ceiling as he looked at the constellations.
Jaehyun laughed as he put his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Maybe,” he said as he looked up. Y/N closed her eyes as she clasped her hands together. She knew it was pathetic, to be making a wish in this dream. But her pleas and prayers didn’t seem enough to calm her desperate heart.
I wish I could live in this dream a little longer.
They both sat down in the middle as they continued to enjoy each other’s presence. No one was around anymore as it seemed like the whole planetarium closed. Y/N already lost track of time, she didn’t know what has already happened to her in the real world, but for sure she was sleeping for the whole day already. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was still deep in thought as he slowly laid down on the floor with an arm tucked behind his head as a pillow, the other resting on his stomach.
“Do you ever feel like somewhere out there, there’s another version of us doing the exact same thing we are doing now?” he mentions as he continues to stare into space. Y/N glances at him and copies his position as she adjusted herself to be laying down beside him. Not really knowing what to say, Jaehyun took it as a sign to continue.
“I feel like I’ve been living in a cycle. It sucks really cause everyone I know either forget me, or they space out. Or it was as if I never really know them to begin with,” he says, frustration clear in his voice. His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to stare into the black space displayed on the ceiling. “You know, the other day, Johnny acted as if he didn’t really know me. I don’t even know if he was playing with me but it was like it was his first time seeing me,” he added as he turned to meet your eyes that were just focused on him. “It’s like how we saw each other back in the theater, you both acted the same way,” he pushed himself up as he supported himself with his arms.
“It’s the same every fucking time. I meet someone knew, we get to know each other, then all of a sudden they forget who I am,”
“I feel like I’m a character in someone’s dream,” Y/N gulped nervously as she slowly sat up. Jaehyun still confused as he blankly stared at his lap. Y/N didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to tell him that he was right and he was just a figment of her imagination and that all of this was from a stupid bottle her friend gave her for her birthday. You were scared to say something, afraid that revealing the truth would mean that you would wake up and that meant that you only had one bottle left to be with Jaehyun. Y/N grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze with a smile, hopefully, assuring him that everything will be alright.
“Promise me one thing,” he says as he faced her seriously. You nodded in response as you waited. “Don’t forget me,” he says carefully watching her reaction. Y/N chuckled as she shook her head, “That’s easy to do, Jae,” she laughed as she shaked their intertwined hands playfully. “Promise me you’ll also stay,” he added seriously. Y/N froze when she heard his words. To forget him was hard, she could remember him everyday when she woke up. But to stay was another thing, how could she stay when she only had one bottle left? How could she stay when he was just a character in her dream? How could she stay with someone who only exists in her memory?
She looked back at him, and the moment she did, she quickly regretted her actions. He was looking at her with so much hope in his eyes. Noticing her silence, the hope in his eyes turned into grim acceptance as he felt her hesitation. Y/N squeezed his hand making him look back at her. She had no idea what came in her, but she decided if its for Jaehyun, she would try.
“I promise,” she said firmly, eyes burning with determination. After all, a broken promise is better than none at all.
——
Y/N felt dizzy as she tried to get up from her bed as she leaned towards the bed stand to get her phone. Her mouth fell dry, remembering the promise she made Jaehyun as she dialed Mei’s number. “Help, I need to do something,” she said as soon as the line was answered.
“What is it this time? Did you finish the bottles already?” Mei asked groaning in response as you called too early for her liking. “No, tell me where you bought the bottles,” she said as she tried to balance her phone between her shoulder and ear as she wore pants. “I need to find who made those bottles,” she added disappointed at the lack of response from the latter. “I’ll send them to you, but I don’t think they’re open,” Mei replied, y/n sighed. She didn’t know why she made that promise, or how she would fulfill it. Back in her dream, everything seemed possible but now, all that was left was empty words that she regrets saying. She didn’t even know why she had a need to keep the promise to Jaehyun, he didn’t even exist to her disappointment.
After she received Mei’s message, she quickly headed out to go to the said shop. Her heart pounded nervously as she drove to the address. It was in a secluded part of town, there was no residential area near it and it seemed like a place that no one frequented to judging by the lack of public transportation that went to the area. She had to take a cab, and the look the driver gave her meant that it wasn’t a place to be in in the first place. As she stared at the shop in front of her, she suddenly felt so alone as the cab quickly left blowing a gust of wind. The small bells tingled when she walked in. The store was small and cramped with only a small counter near the end as she tried her best not to step on any of the antique items that were for display. Ringing the small bell on the table, she tried to inspect the place a bit more.
Her eyes squinted as she spotted a familiar poster hanging on the wall between two large dream catchers. ‘The Impossible Dream’ it read as small details were printed around. Her eyes widened in shock. It was the same poster from her dream, could it be that the musical actually existed? Would that mean Jaehyun existed? Before she tried to move further to get a closer look a stern voice spoke from behind the counter.
“What brings you here? We are closed,” her head whipped to the direction of the voice. There stood an old woman who was smaller than her with her white hair tied neatly up in a bun, eyes narrowing towards Y/N.
“That poster, where did you get it?” You said pointing in the direction of it as you tried your best not to falter in front of her gaze that seemed too strong for you to handle.
“That poster was made years ago by my ancestors, does it look familiar to you?” The old lady replied. Y/N nodded in response still debating whether the possibility of Jaehyun existing was real or not. “You took the bottles, didn’t you?” The old lady pressed on as Y/N muttered a small yes. “That was a mistake, you should have never taken it in the first place. I suggest you go home and continue on with your life, dark magic is not to be played with,” she said as she made her way towards the door behind the counter.
“No! Wait, I have some questions,” Y/N protested as she tried to block the old lady from disappearing.
“Forget about it now, what you experienced is not real,” the old lady said as she tried to make her way around you. Y/N continued to block her way which made the old lady sigh. You really didn’t want to give her a hard time considering her age, but you didn’t want to leave without unanswered questions.
“You say the dream I had wasn’t real, but why does that poster exist?” Y/N said as she moved to grab the poster that was hanging on the wall. It was designed exactly like what she saw on her dream. “What is this? What is in those bottles?” She gestured desperately waiting for an answer. The old lady sighed, grabbing a small stool and sitting down. “Those are bottles of dreams, my grandmother and my mother used to make it when I was still a child, telling me that one day it would change the world and that people would go crazy to get a sip of what was in it,”
“These bottles allow people to live in their deepest desires, everything you see in your dream is just a figment of your imagination. The potion lets you have what you want,” she added as she gestured towards the poster. “Luckily for you, what you desire isn’t that bad. But for others, it became too much. I stopped selling the bottles because things could get out of hand,” she said sadly. Y/N felt like the weight of her promise was crashing down on her. There was too much information for her to handle, the fact that Jaehyun did not exist made her sick. “I know you’re sad, everyone does once they find out they can’t have what they desire. But if it makes you feel any better, I can tell you one secret,” the old lady says hesitating as she finds the hope in your eyes glint at her words. “This poster, I am guessing you have seen it before in one of your dreams?” She questions as she holds it up in the light. Y/N nodded, “I want to know if the person I see in my dreams is true, or perhaps, I am holding on to this impossibility that he is true,” she mutters as she remembers Jaehyun. She only had one bottle left, meaning it would be the last time she would see him.
“This poster appeared here two days ago, I don’t know how it got here but I assume it is something from a dream. Just like everything in this shop,” the old lady said gesturing towards the other antique items. Everything was so random, as if it was just dumped with whatever things people could find.
“I am not sure if your dreams are real, and if the people do exist. But judging from how everything keeps appearing in random, they might be somewhere out there,” she added. Y/N breathed deeply, there was no assurance of Jaehyun existing in this world, but the existence of the poster means that he would probably appear in this shop if he were to be created. The poster alone ignited her desire to find him. If he did exist, where was he?
“Thank you, if you see anyone appear here around my age. Tall, white, handsome, basically looks like a prince, please let me know,” Y/N says as she leaves her phone number. The old lady chuckled, “Isn’t that too childish for a woman like you?” She says amused at your desperation to find this boy. “He’s a dream come true, can’t let anyone get to him,” y/n replies as she made her way out.
When Y/N returned home, she felt exhausted. She didn’t want to take her last bottle just yet. It could be her last chance of seeing Jaehyun, if what the old lady said was false. But seeing how the poster showed up, as well as other things that were in the shop, it gave her hope that Jaehyun existed somewhere out there. Another thing that bothered her was the fact that if he was out there, where was he? She didn’t even know where to start finding him. She hoped that he lived in the same country for her, she didn’t have enough money to find him if he were abroad. Nor did she think she was willing to find a man who basically existed based on her imagination. Even if he did live under the same skies, it was still to difficult task to do.
What’s the most you would be willing to do for the person you love?
Y/N took the last bottle of dreams, determined to keep her promise to Jaehyun. Adjusting once again to the bright light, when she woke up, she was seated on a chair in what seems like her room in her dream. She was wearing a white maxi dress that hugged her figure in all the right places, long enough to pool on the floor while she sat down. Her hair flowed down her back with curls toward the ends as her face was dolled with light make up.
Taking a good look of herself, she was satisfied with how she looked. If this was the last thing Jaehyun would see, then she was happy that he would see her at her best. When the doorbell rang, she made her way towards the door with a heavy heart as she reminded herself that this was her last bottle. When she opened the door, she smiled as she took in the sight of Jaehyun infront of her. His hair was gelled back with a fringe curled infront of his forehead. He was wearing a plain black suit and tie with a white dress shirt under. He held up a bouquet of fresh daisies as his cheeks were lightly pink from the cold (he tried to convince himself). “For you,” he shyly said, dimples making an appearance once again, he handed over the daisies as he stared down on his feet shuffling as he felt flustered by your presence.
Y/N pouted, he was the man of her dreams. Literally. She hoped she only drank half of the bottle now, because she definitely wanted to see Jaehyun dressed up like this for the rest of her life.
“What’s the matter?” Jaehyun said worried as he saw your lack of response. Taking your hand lightly, he rubbed small circles in the back of your hand as his other took your chin beneath his thumb and point finger. “Stop frowning, you look beautiful in that dress,” he complimented.
“You’re too good looking, I don’t think I can go with you anymore,” you reply trying to play off the somber mood as you give him a reassuring smile. Jaehyun chuckled, “You should see yourself,”
Both entered the venue, to say that it was extravagant was an understatement. It looked like a greek god threw a party, out of a sudden, Y/N felt out of place with all the people passing by looking like they were raised with a golden spoon. Feeling Jaehyun’s arm snake around her waist pulling her closer towards him, she glance at him sending him a small smile as she tries to gain confidence. “It’s fine, we can leave once you feel uncomfortable,” he says as he guides her towards the entrance. “Who has the money to throw this party? It looks ethereal,” Y/N loudly whispers shooting a fake smile to the guards who welcome both of you. “Moon Taeil, he’s a friend of mine,” Jaehyun replies as he inspects the place. Y/N looks around as she admires the gold chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and tall white pillars around the place with gold vines wrapped around it.
“By the way, you look ethereal,” Jaehyun whispers close to her ear, his lips brushing against her earlobe making her flush. He leads her to their table and leaves to get the drinks which makes y/n snap back to her plan. Honestly, she really did not have a plan. She didn’t know how she should spend her last bottle, but for sure she had to act quickly. She thought of hugging Jaehyun or at least holding his hand tight enough for her to bring him to reality, but everything seems pathetic at this point. Looking around, she decided to go to the restroom to at least settle with a final plan. As she made her way through the hallways, she looks at the pictures hanging on the wall. It all looked like some portrait of a royal family, but one picture has caught her eye. Narrowing her gaze, she inspects a picture of a woman probably around her 20s with eyes set forward as if it was staring at her back.
“Where did I see this before?” Y/N mutters under her breath as she stared longer at the woman. Shit, it was the same woman from the shop, only a younger version. Her eyes widened, as she tried to find more pictures of the woman. Y/N slowly tried to reach for the frame, carefully touching it as she tried to find a trace of anything that could help her to bring Jaehyun to reality. Biting on her lip, she continues down the hall in desperation to find hints. As she neared the end, she felt a gust of wind blow towards her.
Turning around, she finds herself in the middle of the street. It was the same street where she met Jaehyun, the first time she appeared in her dream. She looks around and notices the same poster hanging around. Breathing deeply she turns around once again, “What the fuck is going on?” She asks herself.
“Excuse me, where am I?” She asked as she grabbed an arm of a woman who was walking down the street. The girl ignored her like a ghost as she shook her arm of and continued to walk as if nothing happened. Y/N tried asking different people but they all pretended as if they couldn’t hear her. She continued to walk down the streets, noticing a familiar building. The shop she visited, the one with the old lady.  Y/N tried opening the door, continuously pounding on it with her fists. “Hello! I need some help, I’m the girl from awhile ago!,” she pleaded as she continued to pound the door with her fists. “Please help me,” she cried out as she shook the door handle. After numerous attempts of trying to open the door, she decided to go back.
“Jaehyun, where are you,” she said feeling her eyes water as she ran around trying to find him in the crowd. Closing her eyes, she tried to control her dream. “I am in the party, I am with Jaehyun,” she chanted, eyes tightly shut as she clenched her fists. Her cheeks wet with streaks of tears that have escaped her eye.
Opening her eyes again, she finds herself in a bathroom. Heaving deep breaths, she looks around her cautiously, afraid that she would lose herself in her dream. After wiping her tears, she made her way towards the party. She finds Jaehyun in the corner talking to a woman around her age her hair long and straight. She looked smaller next to his bigger frame and her eyes were sparkling, y/n was not sure if it was from the light or was it just really her. The woman laughed lightly at what Jaehyun says as she gives him a charming smile. She matched the princess in fairy tales looking as regal as Jaehyun could be. This made y/n sad, it was her dream all along, but if she couldn’t bring Jaehyun to reality then he might as well just live his happily ever after with this woman.
But she might be able to bring him with her, and she wasn’t going to back down without a fight. Y/N clenched her fists, I was gone for a while and this idiot didn’t even try to find me, feeling the green monster in her heart rise she huffed out loud stomping over to the both of them.
“What happened to drinks?” She said making Jaehyun jolt at her sudden presence. “I was just about to get it,” Jaehyun answers as he glances at Y/N. “This is Naeun, a friend of mine, and this is Y/N,” he says gesturing to the both of you. Naeun gives her a small smile raising a hand, while Y/N continued to stare at her blankly.
“His girlfriend,” you scoff as you glared at Jaehyun. “I didn’t know it could take you fifteen minutes to get a drink,” she mocked as Jaehyun looked at her with an amused smile. “I just got here, what are you talking about?” He replied. Y/N raised her brow, “I went to the bathroom,” she argued back. Naeun looked at the two, excusing herself as she didn’t want to get caught up between them. “I just sat you down though,” Jaehyun pouted at her response not liking that she was upset with him. Y/N was confused, didn’t she just get lost in her dream? Or did time just stop and everything continued to flow for her? She decided to drop the topic, sitting down on the stool next to him.
“Doesn’t matter, who is she?” She questioned jutting her chin towards Naeun’s direction as she took a sip from the Andy Player Jaehyun ordered from her directing her attention towards the front avoiding his teasing eyes. “Just a friend from high school,” he said taking a seat as well as he took a sip of his drink, his smiling growing wider at her reaction. Y/N rolled her eyes as she played with the liquid in her glass, “Sure, you seem happy to be reunited,” she mocked, jealousy coating her words. “Hmmm, are you jealous?” Jaehyun asked as he leaned one arm on the counter looking at her with a teasing smile she would like to wipe off his face because not only did he irritatingly looked too good to be true, the veins in his arms were also distracting. Fuck Jaehyun and his rolled up sleeves, Y/N found it unfair, he looked like God’s favorite.
“No, why would I be jealous?” She said defensively taking another sip of her drink. “I don’t care who you mingle with,” she dragged on with a tone as she stuck her tongue out. Jaehyun laughed, “Really?  Cause I don’t remember asking me to be your boyfriend,” he added. Y/N chocked on her spit at his statement as she glared at him, “Forget I said that,” though she secretly liked how he seemed to be fine with that title. “To be honest, I really don’t want to,” he retorted. Y/N flushed as she felt herself shrink on her seat.
“I want to dance with my girlfriend, may I?” Jaehyun stated as he offered her a hand, smiling as he raised his brows making Y/N scoff. She really wanted him to stop, it wasn’t good for her heart that probably did a thousand of flips at every word he says.
She took his hand as they made their way towards the dance floor, Jaehyun’s arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer, his other arm guarding each of her hand to wrap around his neck as they found themselves back to her waist. Y/N felt bittersweet, remembering the first time they saw each other and how they were in the exact same position just in a different setting. Jaehyun hummed with the slow song that was playing, lightly mumbling the lyrics with his baritone voice, as his smile never left his face, “This feels familiar,” he says lightly chuckling as he guided her once again through their dance. Y/N this time, only looked at him, no longer looking at her feet. “I think I could get used to this,” she replies making Jaehyun’s smile grow wider, his ears turning red.
“I may have not told you this earlier, but you look beautiful tonight,” he said face serious as they continued to sway to the music. “I mean, you look beautiful everyday, but you look extra pretty now,” he added. Y/N’s face scrunched up in disapproval, never fond of compliments but ever so receiving when it comes to Jaehyun.
“You look handsome as always, Jae,” she said sincerely, lips quirking up slightly at the new nickname she gave him.
Y/N glanced at Jaehyun once more as he continued to guide her carefully through the dance, her heart heavy as it seems that the thought of him not existing in reality would not leave her alone. Hesitating, she looks one more at the smile he has on his face, she really doesn’t want to hurt him. I don’t think I have it in me to hurt you, ever.
“I lo-“
“Jaehyun, I have to tell you something,” she says cutting him off as he was about to say something. Jaehyun looked at her surprise but smiled understandingly, this can wait, I can wait, l just a little bit more, he thought.
They went to the garden, there were still people walking around but less compared to those inside. Y/N’s heart was beating too loud she could hear it in her dream, she has to risk it. She needed to tell him, she had to tell him. “Just let me speak, and I’ll answer all your questions later,” she says as he looked at her curiously. Jaehyun nodded in response, encouraging her to continue as he grabbed both her hands to help her calm down.
“You don’t exist, you’re a part of my dream,” she said as she looked at Jaehyun whose eyebrows just furrowed, pursing his lips as to stop him from asking questions.
“It was my 23rd birthday two days ago, my friend gave me a gift of bottles that contained dreams. I thought it was bullshit at first, but the moment I drank the first bottle, I met you. And I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re just a part of my imagination. It pains me to say it, but I don’t think I could hide the truth from you anymore. The next time I met you, it was when we were at the park, I remember you asking me how I spaced out and how I seem not to pay attention. It was because I wasn’t mentally present when you were speaking to me. All those times I met you, I fell in love with you because you were all I ever wanted, and it hurts me to think that I can’t even have you in my life,”
  Y/N’s tears continued to roll down her face as she sobbed trying to gather her thoughts as Jaehyun looked at her with a mix of confusion and frustration. “This night, I drank my last bottle,” she says voice shaking as she felt Jaehyun’s hands stiffen under her hold.
“Remember when we made our wishes? I wished to live longer in this dream,” she says as he hugged her. Her tears drenching his suit, but that didn’t matter. This maybe her last moments with him, and her heart was hurting too much for her to take.
“Jaehyun, I love you,” she sobbed. She said it, without hesitation as she looked at Jaehyun with teary eyes. Jaehyun bit his lip, he didn’t even know where to start asking. He hugged her tightly as he felt his tears touch his lips, the taste salty as it continued to flow down his face. “I won’t tell you mine, because it won’t come true if I do,” he says as he puts a hand on his shoulder his face bending down to meet her eyes. His other hand brushed the stray strands against her face as she continued to cry.
“I shouldn’t be crying like this, we shouldn’t be doing this,” she said as she wiped her tears away trying to think of happy thoughts.
“Y/N, look at me,” Jaehyun said seriously. His hands with a firm grip on his shoulder. Y/N tried to hold back her tears as she saw the pain on his eyes, long gone the smiles he gave her earlier.
“Promise me, you’ll try,”  Y/N nodded as she grabbed his face and pressed a firm kiss on his lips.
“Don’t leave me, please,”
“I won’t, I swear,”
—————
Y/N woke up, her cheeks still wet as she felt tears stream down her face. Everything felt so real, the kiss, the confession, the promises. Jaehyun’s words still echoing in her mind as if she could hear his deep voice whispering beside her.
The moment she got up she tried contacting the old woman, and going back to the shop only to find that it was closed already and was going to be demolished soon. It has been a week since she last saw Jaehyun, a week since she has drank her last dream in a bottle. However, the heartache she went through was still as fresh as it was when she woke up. She tried her best to find him. She visited different libraries, reading on books about what happened to her and if there was a way to reverse it. She even tried going to a planetarium in hopes of finding Jaehyun there, but all found nothing. Some people thought she was crazy, and that she was hallucinating everything, but they didn’t know her story.
She even found the same venue where they had the ball, but to her disappointment, she never found anything that could lead her to Jaehyun or vice versa. It was if he was just a memory she was to forget. But that was the problem, she couldn’t forget him. She promised him she would try, and she didn’t want to let him down. Sometimes, she wondered what he was doing. Was he also trying to escape her mind? Was he with Naeun now that she was gone? Does she get those cheesy pickup lines he tells her? What was he doing now? Did he love her?
There were times when she tried to dream of him, but it wasn’t real. All she got was an image of him, but it didn’t feel like how she dreamt of him when she had the bottle. She tried to widen her imagination, and picture him with her. But it was too tiring for her, after all, she only had three nights of dreams.
As she made her way down the busy streets, she walked quickly as she navigated her way towards the central park as she continued to avoid the people bumping her while they were walking the opposite direction. She stopped in front of the cafe, heaving deep breaths. As she made her way in she walked towards the table in the corner, her lips forming into a smile as she saw the familiar face.
“It’s been a while,” she said hugging Mei. Mei grinned back at her and gestured her to sit down.
“So, how’s life so far?” Mei asked enthusiastically as she sipped on her tea, crossing her legs as she leaned forward. Y/N shrugged as she took a bite of her banana cake, “Nothing much, it’s been boring lately,” she said as she stabbed the banana cake and stuffing another piece into her mouth. “You know you never called me after the second bottle,” Mei huffed.
“Nothing happened, I tried to find the manufacturer because I needed more but the building was demolished,” she replied bitterly. “Ohh yeah, but the dreams were good right?” Mei responded.
“Yeah, too good to be true,” Y/N replied dejectedly. “Do you ever like, want your dreams to come true?” She asked Mei curiously as she bit her fork. “Of course, why the sudden question?” Mei retorted. “I dreamt about this guy, and he’s wonderful. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and I just wished he was true,” she replies sighing remembering Jaehyun once again which made her feel bittersweet. It was like she was the only one who knew him inside out, he literally was the man of her dreams.
“I don’t know what you dreamt about but whatever it is, I guess those bottles really work then,” Mei shrugged. “Besides, attachment is the root of suffering,” she adds taking a bite of the banana cake and wiggling her brows.
As she navigated her way home, Y/N sighs once again. Was it really that hard to forget Jaehyun? He didn’t even exist yet here she is feeling broken hearted as if she was cheated on once again by her ex boyfriend. Moving towards a crowd she felt people bump against her making her scrunch up her nose in irritation, “Damn, can’t people watch where they’re going?” She muttered under her breath as she made hurried strides towards her apartment.
Before she could take a turn, she felt a body bump against her as she fell on her butt looking up squinting. Pair of hands helped her stand up as she dusted herself, flustered that she caused a scene in public.
“Thank you,” she muttered quietly to the stranger who didn’t seem to budge as she tried to make her way.
“You should really watch where you’re going,” a deep voice said. Looking up, her jaw slacked. There he stood in front of her, with a light smile in his face his hair still swept back as he was dressed in a plain white tee with denim jeans and white sneakers. Jaehyun. If he looked ethereal in her dream, then she didn’t even know how to describe how he looked as he stood in front of her as she continued to stare at him in awe.
“I didn’t know you were this clumsy, I think you need to get used to me guiding you everywhere,” he added shaking his head as he took her hand in his as his smile radiated. He chuckled at her noticing her lack of response. He placed a small kiss on her forehead as his arm wrapped around her shoulder as he pulled her towards the direction of her apartment.
“How did you find me? How are you here? Are you real?” Y/N asked hurriedly as she stared at him in shock. Everyone was looking at Jaehyun, who wouldn’t really? The girls around continued to stare at him with heart eyes but they didn’t matter to him as his arm tightly wrapped around your shoulder. They didn’t matter cause they weren’t you. Y/N was too bewildered to even glare at those girls as her mind started thinking of all the possibilities on how he appeared.
“My wish came true,” Jaehyun stated as he faced her grinning at her amazed state. “What did you wish for?” Y/N asked curiously as she looked at Jaehyun who was still smiling at her softly.
“I wished I could spend the rest of my life loving you,”
Y/N stopped walking as Jaehyun grabbed her shoulders and faced her towards him. “Why did you say that? Now it won’t come true,” she scolded him as she pouted. Jaehyun laughed at her response. “I’m not going anywhere though, you got me, you got me good,” he winked making her blush just like in her dream.
“Oh and Y/N,” he added as he bent down meeting her eyes as she looked at him with flushed cheeks and bright eyes.
“I love you too,”  
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mercedestaylor · 4 years ago
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Just Let Me Adore You
Roger Taylor x fem! reader AU
You and Queen have known each other for many years. Through the years you and Roger have some intense moments and try to be near each other. On the way to a pub you and Roger have another intense stare. This time in his car.
A/N: So, this was the first ever complete written fic I’ve done. I thought this was the best timing to post this to celebrate the most beautiful person alive.
Happy Birthday Roger! Long live the Queen (one of four ;) )
word count: 1987
warnings: swear words, slight nsfw? let’s call it a hot moment
THIS gif inspired me to write this :)
I touched up my last swing of mascara when I looked at the clock. It was already 8:20. Roger and Freddie would be here in 10 minutes. I brushed my hair one last time so it looked fresh and glowy. I wore a red bodysuit with a flowy black skirt that was still over my knees and some baby blue sneakers. My hair was open with little braids in them. We were going to a newly opened pub to check it out. We wanted to get there later but since it was summer it was still bright outside. We were meeting the rest of the boys there. When I checked my makeup and outfit the last time my doorbell rang. I quickly grabbed my purse and ran to the door. I grabbed my keys and went down the stairs only to see that the boys were already back in the car.
I waved at them and got in the back seat.
„Hey girls, are you ready to rock?“ I smiled. I looked at them expectantly and waited for their response.
„Are you ready to roll? I’m really sceptic dear, nothing can be better than The Rabbit Hole. “ Freddie said.
„And what do you think?“ I smiled at Roger. He was looking at me through the rear view mirror and smiled back at me.
„I have no expectations. Let���s just make the best time out of it.“
I looked at him questioningly. „BORING!“ I said and laughed.
They both did too and Roger said „Let’s just go and see.“
So he started the engine. The pub was all across London so we had to drive 20 minutes. I got my seatbelt on and when they heard the clicking sound they softly laughed. I glared at them and told them to shut up because I would be the one that wouldn’t die in a car crash.
I looked out the window to cherish this beautiful city. I’ve lived my whole live in London, but only lived in this area for 3 years. I’ve met the boys on a gig they had and we befriended really quick since Freddie is so open with people.
I was on the bar to get myself a drink when he came to me.
„Oh my god, shut the fuck up! Your outfit is amazing! I love how you combined this super cute dress with those rocking boots and to top it off a beautiful leather jacket. You have an out of this world fashion sense. You should totally go to my friends and I’s shop in Kensington Market.“
When he was finally done with complimenting me I thanked him and told him that I was interested in visiting his shop. He then introduced me to his band mates.
„My darlings, this is a new friend of mine!“ he shouted over the loud music.
„What was your name, dear? “ he asked me.
„I’m Y/N.“
A tall young man with a lot of black hair came to me and gave me his hand.
„Nice to meet you Y/N, I’m Brian.“ he smiled.
I shook his hand and smiled back. Brian got back to his seat. The guy beside him waved at me.
„Hi I’m John Deacon.“
I waved back „Hi“.
Freddie walked to them „We’re just waiting for Roger now. “
And at that second a beautiful blonde boy came up and got next to me. He shortly looked at me then the boys and then looked me up and down.
I looked back at him and coughed to get his attention back to my face
„Can I help you?“
„You could but I’d rather help you.“ He smirked and I heard the boys laugh.
„Take it easy, Rog.“ Freddie said. „This is our new friend, Y/N.“
He still looked at me and gave me his hand .
„What a pleasure to meet you.“ Roger grinned.
The way he looked at me gave me shivers, but in the best way.
„I can only agree. “ I took his hand and we held eye contact what felt like minutes. His eyes really were what you call beautiful. We parted our hands yet kept looking at each other the remaining night.
Since then many years have passed however nothing ever happened seriously between us. In fact, he recently got out of his relationship that lasted 4 years. He still got his „flings“ from time to time, still mostly he would get a girl for one night. Queen had quickly risen to fame and success and just dropped their new album. They would soon be touring again in Europe.
Roger just drove past a yellow traffic light when I looked at him. I looked at the back of his head with his beautiful blonde hair. It’s been always so fluffy and soft. I was sitting in the middle seat so I had a perfect view of his side profile while he was concentrated on driving. I’ve always thought he was too pretty to be human but here he is.
Roger tried to get at me on the first years we’ve known each other. Except I knew what he was about, that’s why I never agreed with it. But I secretly crushed over him. How could you not? I tried to take a glance when he wasn’t looking, I tried to stand close to him, we often hanged out together and he would visit me in my dreams. Even so in the early years there wasn’t any chance of him being in a serious relationship. Now he isn’t as bad as then anymore, though still I’m scared of getting hurt by him.
I look at his eyes through the rear view mirror. His big, deep blue baby eyes with these long lashes. They keep moving to check the street or just staring at the horizon. His eyes are so hypnotizing.
Sometimes I almost couldn’t control myself because we would look at each other while talking and when we were done he would keep staring at me with this soft yet intense look on his face. I had too much pride to look away so I held his gaze and we would just sit there and stare at each other.
And it was at these times where I just wanted to climb over the seat, sit on his lap and kiss him. I would touch his face while his hands grab my waist. My fingers wander through his soft hair, pulling some strands and him moaning into my mouth. His hands go up my body to my arms and chest. He kisses down my jaw to my neck and gently sucks on my pulse. I’d grind my hips on his and he would grab his arms under my legs, pull me up and get us out of the room for privacy.
Well, that was only my imagination. In reality I needed to keep my stand and stay in my seat while breaking the eye contact.
It was an advantage for me that he was distracted because in that case he didn’t notice me staring at him. I just couldn‘t help it. His face was mesmerizing. But just as I fell into another fantasy he looked at me. He noticed me staring at him. In his car. Though in a second he looked back on the street. Or so I thought because after he checked the street he looked back at me. And I didn’t know what to do.
Then I had the idea, when he was driving I couldn’t lose my control of holding back. Because when we would have another staring contest, I couldn’t get on his lap because he was driving. So I kept looking at him. He had his slightly orange tinted sunglasses on. Although I could still see his eyes through them.
I looked at the street to check if something’s in the ways of passing. I looked back at him and I see he also checked the street. He kept giving me this intense stare and I lifted an eyebrow. He started to smirk which I could see on his side profile. I tried to hold my incoming smile back but I couldn’t. I must have looked ridiculous trying to hold back because he chuckled shortly after. Roger looked back on the street to check.
I looked to Fred who didn’t seem interested in our „conversation“ or why Roger had laughed. When I looked at Roger I saw that he was looking up to the mirror. But I didn’t want to look away from his face. I studied his features like his jawline or his hands on the steering wheel. I could look at his hands all day long. My attention got back to his eyes when we needed to stop and he gently coughed. He was still looking at me. I playfully rolled my eyes whereupon he just winked at me.
We soon arrived at the pub and Roger parked on the lot. I unbuckled my seat belt and before I got out of the car I waited until one of them opened their door. I never wanted to be the first one to leave in case we had to stay in the car for some reason. When Freddie opened the door I also got out. I was on the same side like Fred so when I got out I turned around to check on Roger. He was just getting up and taking a first look at the pub.
„Wow, this is huge.“ He turned back to us.
„Oh darling, I can tell you some other things that are huge.“ Freddie commented. I hit Freddie with my arm and laughed.
„We all know, Fred. You don’t have to tell us again.“ I said.
Roger smiled at us and said „Let’s look for the others.“
We went to the entrance and searched Brian, Chrissie, Deaky and Veronica. Jim couldn’t come because he had to work early in the morning. He trusted me with the safety of Fred.
„I see them!“ Freddie shouted and jogged to them leaving me and Rog behind.
He walked right beside me, his arm brushing mine every now and then. We walked to the direction Freddie went off. Normally I was totally relaxed in his presence but now I felt somewhat tense. I felt the warmth his body was radiating.
„You shouldn’t do that again while I’m driving. Especially when you look like that.“ He said to me.
I looked at him questioningly. I knew what he meant but I wanted to hear it from him.
„What do you mean?“ I innocently fluttered my lashes. He laughed lightly.
„Oh I think you know what I mean. Listen, these moments that we have… I can’t ignore them.“ I looked forward because I felt my heartbeat quickening.
„I think we should talk about what has been going on between us for some time.“ He said slowly looking at me expectantly.
I’m trying to think of an answer to give. I feel rushed because it felt like minutes that I was thinking.
„Uhm, you know… uh...“ I’m so confused, this came out of nowhere.
„Maybe we can meet tomorrow? I think you know where I live.“ Roger jokes.
„I could make some dinner for us.“ He continues.
I stop walking and look at him.
„Uhm yeah, sure. Dinner sounds good.“ I said hastily. I play with my fingers.
He wanted to talk about what has been going on between us? Like the staring and standing close? How could I talk with him about that.
„Great.“ He smiled and started to walk again.
I kept looking at him and watched as he made his way to the boys.
„Hey Y/N! Get your pretty ass here, we want to party!“ Freddie shouted.
I smiled and walked to them. I greeted the rest of the group and we all went to the VIP entrance into the pub.
——————————————————————————
I want to thank @ineloqueent for giving me the motivation to write this, just because they replied my comment! And I also want to thank @perriwiinkle for reading this and giving me the confidence to post it!! You MUST check them out!!! @perriwiinkle wrote my favorite Roger fanfic series, so you also need to read her stories!! Out of time is the best shit ever!!
I hope the few people that read this story like it, too. Please give me some feedback 😊
And who got this far: THANK YOU FOR READING IT!!
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she-who-fights-and-writes · 5 years ago
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She-who-fights-and-writes Coronacation Book Rec List
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I know that a lot of people are stuck at home right now in dire need of entertainment, so I decided I’d put out a book recommendations list of all the books I’m currently reading and all of my must-reads!
(Just a note that a lot of these are Fantasy because I’m a fantasy nerd haha)
Books/Series I am currently reading
1. The Folk of the Air Trilogy by Holly Black (Currently on #2, The Wicked King)
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Genre: High Fantasy
Setting: The land of Faerie which is kind of historical, but in the human world it is modern day
Main cast :
Jude Duarte (white, human, cutthroat, if I saw her in a Denny’s Parking Lot at 3am I would RUN)
Cardan Greenbriar (white, faerie, the true embodiment of Bastard)
Vivienne (Jude’s half-sister, lesbian with canon gf, half-human half-faerie, I would totally try to be her friend)
Taryn Duarte (Jude’s twin sister, queen doormat, still, I would take a bullet for her she’s jUST TRYING TO FIT IN)
Rating: 5/5 Stars
These books have been on my “To Read” list for so long now and for some reason I just never got around to reading them! Hands-down, these are some of the best high fantasy books that I’ve read in a long, long while.
I finished the first book, The Cruel Prince, in just two days and rated it 5/5 stars! Even though these books are high fantasy and focus on the traditions and ways of life of faeries, somehow all of the characters seem like I could meet them in real life!
The main character actually has genuine flaws and not just “””“flaws”””” and is a Bad Bitch down with murder, and the plot had me on the edge of my seat from page one!
The summary makes it sound like it’s going to be about their romance, but it’s really mostly about a power struggle and Jude being a badass.
Goodreads summary for The Cruel Prince:
Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences. As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.
2. The Raven Cycle Series by Maggie Stiefvater (Currently on #1, The Raven Boys)
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Genre: Present-Day/Realistic Fantasy (?)
Setting: The fictional town of Henrietta, Virginia
I haven’t gotten around to much of the book, so there’s not much I can tell you about the characters and I can’t properly give it a rating yet.
These books were also on my “To Read” list for a while; I was a huge fan of her book The Scorpio Races and have also been looking for something to quench my thirst for “private school/ghosts/magic” that I’ve been dealing with ever since I read The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo.
I’ve only JUST started The Raven Cycle yesterday, but so far I am hooked! I’m super worried because I’m TERRIBLE at juggling two series at a time but both of these are just so interesting! 
Goodreads Summary for The Raven Boys:
“There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit on St. Mark’s Eve,” Neeve said. “Either you’re his true love . . . or you killed him.” It is freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrive. Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue herself never sees them—not until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks directly to her. His name is Gansey, and Blue soon discovers that he is a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble. But Blue is drawn to Gansey, in a way she can’t entirely explain. He has it all—family money, good looks, devoted friends—but he’s looking for much more than that. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents all the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul who ranges from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher of the four, who notices many things but says very little. For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She never thought this would be a problem. But now, as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she’s not so sure anymore.
MY MUST-READ BOOK LIST
1. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
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Genre: Historical Fiction
Setting: 1700s Europe (England, Paris, Barcelona, Marseilles, Venice)
Main cast (I’ll try my best not to spoil anything because you find out a LOT of different stuff about these characters throughout the book):
Henry “Monty” Montague (white, bi/pansexual, attitude problem)
Percy Newton (mixed race, gay, very sweet boy, definitely got “most likely to bring home to mom” in the yearbook)
Felicity Montague (white, Monty’s little sister, headcanoned as asexual, I love her to death)
Rating: 5/5 Stars
Daring adventure, gay representation, historical setting, hilarious characters!
This book literally has it all! I would consider it one of my favorite books of all time, yet for some reason I’ve never gotten around to reading any of the sequel books! The ending is very satisfying and ties everything together, which I feel is part of the reason why I haven’t gotten around to them yet. 
Therefore, it can serve as a one-shot read or a full series if you want to dive into something good!
The humor made me laugh out loud at points and all of the characters are very real and very, very relatable, not to mention the vivid settings of 1700s Europe!
Goodreads summary:
Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men. But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy. Still it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.
2. The Ninth House By Leigh Bardugo
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Genre: Horror, Fantasy 
Setting: Yale University and the town of New Haven, Present Day
Main cast:
Galaxy “Alex” Stern (Hispanic, sees dead people, very scary)
Daniel Arlington “Darlington” (white, rich, an angel who can sometimes be a dick)
Pamela Dawes (tbh I honestly don’t remember what she looks like, only that she’s a tired grad student with big nerd energy)
Detective Alan Turner (Black, takes shit from nobody, husband material)
Rating: 4/5 Stars
(NOTE: THIS IS VERY DARK ADULT FICTION AND CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND FOR PEOPLE UNDER 16)
This book is a great read for someone who’s looking for a disturbing, gritty book with layers upon layers of secrets that you have to peel away as the mystery unfolds. I love the secret societies and the intricate magic systems that the book introduces, and it actually made me hungry for more books like it!
 Alex is a three-dimensional, very real character who also serves as an unreliable narrator who witholds or warps the information that she’s telling you, making the narrative all the more riveting.
The only issues that I have with it are the fact that Leigh Bardugo kind of just dumps you in the middle of it without explaining stuff first, to the point where it kind of feels like you’re reading the second installment of a series rather than the first one, so things can get a bit confusing at first.
The book also can drag and draw things out for a bit too long, but once the plot fully kicks into gear, you will not be able to put it down!
Goodreads summary:
Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her? Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.
3. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer
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Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Setting: Earth, Space, The Moon
Main cast :
Linh Cinder (Chinese, based on Cinderella, cyborg, certified badass)
Scarlet Benoit (French, based on Little Red Riding Hood, farmer who is not afraid to shoot you)
Cress Darnel (White, based on Rapunzel, nerd, I will protect her with my life if I have to)
Kaito “Kai” (Chinese, based on Prince Charming, kind of has to run a whole country, a very kind soul, deserves a nap)
Carswell Thorne (White, based off of Rapunzel’s Prince, bastard)
Winter Hayle (Black, based off of Snow White, royalty, has super special powers)
Wolf (Race unspecified, based off of the Big Bad Wolf, charming killing machine, furry????) 
Rating: 5/5 Stars
Do you like fairy tales?
Have you ever wanted to know what fairy tales would be like if they took place in the FUTURE instead of the PAST? 
Do you like an amazing, hilarious cast paired with a super interesting plot? 
These are the books for you!
I haven’t read them in so long, but I remember how much joy I felt while devouring these pages. Definitely something you will not able to put down!
Goodreads Summary for Book #1: Cinder: 
Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . . Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.
4. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
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Genre: Fantasy
Setting: Ancient Greece
Main cast:
Patroclus (Greek, Gay, quiet pining) 
Achilles (Greek, gay, very strong, student athlete energy)
Brisies (Anatolian, clever, literally the only one in this story who has a brain cell)
Rating: 100000/5 stars
This is basically the Iliad but if historians hadn’t completely erased Patroclus and Achilles’ relationship. “Haha yeah these guys were totally bros” they say, even though I have read the Iliad and their relationship isn’t even subtle.
This book made me cry at least ten times. It’s just so beautifully written and has such a distinct vibe to it that whenever I crack it open for another time, it takes me straight back to the vacation that I read it on. (Needless to say, sobbing your eyes out can be less than helpful when you’re on the beach)
If you can only read one book on this list, it should be this one. I could talk all day about it and write novels on just how much of an incredible writer Madeline Miller is, but I feel like you’d get my drift a bit better if you actually read the book.
Goodreads Summary:
Greece in the age of heroes. Patroclus, an awkward young prince, has been exiled to the court of King Peleus and his perfect son Achilles. By all rights their paths should never cross, but Achilles takes the shamed prince as his friend, and as they grow into young men skilled in the arts of war and medicine their bond blossoms into something deeper - despite the displeasure of Achilles' mother Thetis, a cruel sea goddess. But then word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped. Torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus journeys with Achilles to Troy, little knowing that the years that follow will test everything they hold dear. Profoundly moving and breathtakingly original, this rendering of the epic Trojan War is a dazzling feat of the imagination, a devastating love story, and an almighty battle between gods and kings, peace and glory, immortal fame and the human heart.
Hope this list helps you through your coronacation, and please don’t be afraid to reblog or message me to tell me if you’ve read/will read any of these!
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mordoriscalling · 4 years ago
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48 Weeks (1/4)
Throughout the 48 weeks that Geralt and Jaskier spend apart, their relationship develops.
Aka, part 3 of the Singer and the Sailor AU no one asked for but I wrote anyway. The events of this story happen after Stay or Sail Away but before Homecoming. Warnigns: some sexual content ahead! 
Weeks 1-12
Week 1
The memory of everyone he left behind is still fresh in his mind. He clearly recalls how he embraced Ciri and Yen for the last time. The hugs were short but his daughter and ex-wife know that he needs to grow distanced before deployment. It hurts less this way.
Jaskier was there to say goodbye too, but it was different with him. He has no idea how all of this works, and they only had mere three weeks to enjoy each other’s company. They tried to make best of it but Geralt still wanted to detach himself in the last week. Jaskier reacted with panic and kept asking if he’d done something wrong.
The only wrong Jaskier’s ever done was to appear in Geralt’s life just like that, waltzing past his walls and defences with laughable ease. Jaskier is loud and bright, almost unbearably so, and everything is suddenly too dark and quiet when he isn’t there.
Geralt didn’t use to mind dark and quiet. He rather enjoyed them, in fact. Now, as he waits for Jaskier’s first video call, he’s vaguely annoyed that he allowed Jaskier to influence him like this in such a short period of time. The change is small but significant and he shouldn’t have let it happen, not so fast.
But then Jaskier’s face appears on the screen, his face lit up by a brilliant smile, and any negative thoughts suddenly fly out of Geralt’s mind.
“Hi, handsome,” Jaskier purrs.
“Hello,” Geralt replies.  
“I must say,” Jaskier goes on in low voice, “the sight of you in the uniform does certain... things to me.”
Geralt looks down at his clothes with a bemused frown. He’s wearing a white, long-sleeved shirt with shoulder pads showing his rank, a black tie and black trousers. It’s nothing special. He has no idea what Jaskier sees but what he does know is that Jaskier’s gaze on him is distracting, so Geralt decides to change the subject. Clearing his throat, he asks, “How are you?”
Jaskier beams as if he asked the best possible question.
Week 2
“How the first two weeks on the ship have been?”
“Busy,” Geralt answers truthfully.
“And?” Jaskier prompts, after a moment of silence.
Geralt sighs, irritated. “And there’s a lot of work to do and some chaos, like always at the beginning.”
Jaskier chuckles. “This will have to suffice for now, but know this, White Wolf: I will get all your stories out of you.”
Geralt rolls his eyes and asks, “How are you?”
There’s that smile again.
Week 3
“How are you?”
Jaskier’s grin is blinding as he answers, “Honestly, Geralt, you’re just so sweet.”
Geralt grunts. Jaskier has to be mentally challenged in some way, to think that the basic human decency which Geralt displays is some kind of special gesture. (Or have had unpleasant experiences with past relationships but that doesn't seem right. Who would treat Jaskier like that?)
He only asks Jaskier about how he’s doing the first moment he can. It’s not much but Jaskier appears to think it is. Geralt’s not going to correct him, not when it makes Jaskier smile like that.
Week 4
“I wrote you a song.”
Geralt doesn’t know what to say to that.
“I’ll send you the recording, just tell me what you think.”
He only nods. As he listens to the song after they hang up, he can’t find any words to describe it. The beautiful lyrics tell a story of lovers camping in a forest, and Jaskier’s voice conveys so many emotions that Geralt’s chest aches.
Before the knows it, he listens to the song every evening, then it keeps replaying in his mind at all times. Jaskier’s voice is there with him, luring him towards thoughts that he shouldn’t entertain, and it all affects him in a way he struggles to express.
Week 5
“Thank you, siren.”
It’s the only words he’s found. Somehow, they seem to be enough for Jaskier.
Week 6
Jaskier is leaving on tour tomorrow, his first international one. He has a lot to say, but not necessarily on that topic.
“It turns out my agent and your ex-wife are friends from uni. I hate it, Geralt. I don’t want them to get along. I have a feeling I’m gonna have little say in my own life from now on.”
Geralt acknowledges Jaskier’s despair with a grunt that is barely noticed because Jaskier chatters on, “The only thing I’d hate more would be you knowing Triss too.”
Geralt frowns. There’s only one Triss he knows. “Triss Merigold?”
There’s a stunned pause and then, “What the fuck, Geralt –”
Week 7
Jaskier is in Europe now and Geralt is somewhere on the Atlantic but he can’t say anything else. Jaskier seems tired but Geralt finds out that it doesn’t make him any less talkative.
“I’m still not over the fact that you were right there the whole time –”
“Jaskier –”
“ – just two introductions away!” A huff. “Hey Jaskier,” he pitches his voice high, imitating how a woman would sound rather well, “do you know my friend Yennefer? Oh, and here’s her ex-husband, who’s gonna ruin you for other men, women, and everyone in between and outside of that spectrum.”
Geralt snorts.
“I could’ve had you for so much longer,” Jaskier laments, “But actually, I wouldn’t have, because it seems I’d have had no idea about your existence at all if not for Lambert? Those two introductions were possible for five goddamn years that Triss has been my agent but apparently, that’s not enough time for it to happen –”
“Jaskier,” Geralt sighs. He needs some sleep and rest. He misses home, already.
“Yes, dear?” Jaskier asks.
Geralt does want to tell him to shut up but Jaskier’s eyes are too distracting, so what comes out of his mouth is, “Sing something.”
Jaskier obliges with the brightest of smiles.
Week 8
“We can’t –”
“I know,” Jaskier replies, “but that’s the thrill of it, don’t you think, darling?”
Geralt clenches his jaw, breathing heavily. The temptation is so strong he almost trembles, like a bloody teenager. Memories don’t work in his favour now – he still remembers Jaskier’s scent, how his skin, mouth and cum tastes. It sets his nerves on fire, and it takes every ounce of his self-control not to start palming himself through his trousers as Jaskier keeps talking in that damned husky voice.
“You know... your moans are the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He bites down at his lip, hard.
“Moan for me, Geralt.”
Geralt does.
Week 9
It’s been more than two months and gloomy silence hangs between them as they stare at each other through the screen.
“Tell me something funny,” Jaskier says.
Geralt searches for any memory of the kind in his mind. When he finally finds it, he launches into the story, “There was that time when me, Eskel and Lambert went out and got so drunk that we blacked out. Next thing we know, we’re in some stranger’s flat, and Lambert’s wearing actual handcuffs, his hand tied to the guy’s ankle.”
“What?!”
“Yeah. We couldn’t find the keys to uncuff them anywhere and we couldn’t pick the lock either. Me and Eskel had to get clippers to set them free. We still have no idea how we got there.”
Jaskier starts chortling.
“That’s how Lambert met his boyfriend Aiden. They’ve been together for seven years now.”
Jaskier keeps cackling. When Geralt realises that listening to that – probably the most inelegant sound he’s ever heard in his life – warms him to his very core because it’s Jaskier’s laugh, there’s only one thought on his mind.
Fuck.
Week 10
“Another song?”
“Yes,” Jaskier admits, looking almost embarrassed, “I hope you like it.”
“Hmm.”
He knows he will. When he listens to the recording, he quickly finds out he wasn’t wrong. The song is more lively and dramatic than the first one, expressing the wonder of watching your lover move, and it feels like a promise. It makes Geralt look beyond the sea.  
Week 11
“Thank you for the song, siren.”
Jaskier sighs in a love-sick way. “I wish I could kiss you right now. Have got the slightest idea what I’d do to you?”
Geralt smirks. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Jaskier moans and goes on to describe his fantasy in vivid detail.
Week 12
Geralt toys with the gold wolf signet as he waits for Jaskier’s call and tries not to drown in grim thoughts.
Being away from his family starts getting hard. The worst period of deployment begins – he hasn’t been away from home long enough to forget but just enough to miss his loved ones terribly and not be able to get over it. The very second his thoughts wander away from work at hand, he remembers Ciri’s laugh, Yen’s smile, his brother’s embraces and father’s gruffness.
Then there’s Jaskier, with his bloody bright smiles, charm, quick wit and endearing... everything. He makes it so much harder.
They should’ve just parted ways, Geralt muses. They shouldn’t have exchanged their “engagement rings” for safekeeping to give them back to each other after Geralt returns like it’s some ridiculous romance novel.
Jaskier’s ridiculous like that, though, and Geralt’s still hasn’t learnt to say no to him.
When Jaskier greets him cheerfully and asks him about how he’s doing, a smile tugs at Geralt’s lips as he answers, “Better now.”
Part 2
***
A/N: you can also read this on AO3. 
The first song that Jaskier writes is in Icelandic IRL (and it’s so goddamn beautiful) but even the English lyrics are just so stunning, I can 100% imagine Jaskier singing that:  This night is ours, spring in the forrest air Let’s pitch our tent among the berries over there. Lead me, my dearest, to the grove of yesterday Where the brook kindly whispers and the birches sway. Light locks in motion, lingering emotion A rose scented breeze from the Fae Dew drops glitter, the dale is quiet and fair Dreams coming true for lovers sleeping there Heather blushing in the evening sun’s last ray The cool quiet night comes after a perfect day Light locks in motion, lingering emotion A rose scented breeze from the Fae
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rockislandadultreads · 4 years ago
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Asexual Characters in Fiction: a list of recommended reads 
Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire
Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.
Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee, K.E. Ormsbee
After a shout-out from one of the Internet’s superstar vloggers, Natasha “Tash” Zelenka finds herself and her obscure, amateur web series, Unhappy Families, thrust into the limelight: She’s gone viral. Her show is a modern adaptation of Anna Karenina—written by Tash’s literary love Count Lev Nikolayevich “Leo” Tolstoy. Tash is a fan of the forty thousand new subscribers, their gushing tweets, and flashy Tumblr GIFs. Not so much the pressure to deliver the best web series ever. And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a Golden Tuba award, Tash’s cyber-flirtation with Thom Causer, a fellow award nominee, suddenly has the potential to become something IRL—if she can figure out how to tell said crush that she’s romantic asexual. Tash wants to enjoy her newfound fame, but will she lose her friends in her rise to the top? What would Tolstoy do?
The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men. But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy. Still it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.
Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor
Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out. When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?
Clariel by Garth Nix
Sixteen-year-old Clariel is not adjusting well to her new life in the city of Belisaere, the capital of the Old Kingdom. She misses roaming freely within the forests of Estwael, and she feels trapped within the stone city walls. And in Belisaere she is forced to follow the plans, plots and demands of everyone, from her parents to her maid, to the sinister Guildmaster Kilp. Clariel can see her freedom slipping away. It seems too that the city itself is descending into chaos, as the ancient rules binding Abhorsen, King and Clayr appear to be disintegrating. With the discovery of a dangerous Free Magic creature loose in the city, Clariel is given the chance both to prove her worth and make her escape. But events spin rapidly out of control. Clariel finds herself more trapped than ever, until help comes from an unlikely source. But the help comes at a terrible cost. Clariel must question the motivations and secret hearts of everyone around her - and it is herself she must question most of all.
Daughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody
Sixteen-year-old Sorina has spent most of her life within the smoldering borders of the Gomorrah Festival. Yet even among the many unusual members of the traveling circus-city, Sorina stands apart as the only illusion-worker born in hundreds of years. This rare talent allows her to create illusions that others can see, feel and touch, with personalities all their own. Her creations are her family, and together they make up the cast of the Festival’s Freak Show. But no matter how lifelike they may seem, her illusions are still just that—illusions, and not truly real. Or so she always believed…until one of them is murdered. Desperate to protect her family, Sorina must track down the culprit and determine how they killed a person who doesn’t actually exist. Her search for answers leads her to the self-proclaimed gossip-worker Luca, and their investigation sends them through a haze of political turmoil and forbidden romance, and into the most sinister corners of the Festival. But as the killer continues murdering Sorina’s illusions one by one, she must unravel the horrifying truth before all of her loved ones disappear. 
Books were pulled from this list on goodreads.com
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